Journals
by ElleVine
Summary: Delve into the personal journals of these Hogwarts Alumni as they attempt to navigate the complexities of growing up, growing apart and coming together in a way no one could have expected. Multiple Pairings in various formats. Dramione, Hansy, Blinny and more. Rated M for language and explicit scenes.
1. Part 1

**Part 1**

* * *

 ** _Hermione Granger_**

 ** _February 12th_**

Ron came over tonight. It is the first time he's come to see me like this in two months and I haven't gone to him in twice that time. I find I need our late night rendezvous less and less and the feeling, I believe is mutual on his part. It used to be every week when we first started, sometimes more. It was agreed we would do this until we found something more permanent to fill the voids in our lives and it seemed we were now doing that. Moving on and finding less and less time to fit one another in.

He didn't even talk to me tonight. He grabbed me roughly from my seat at the small table in my kitchen and pushed me up against the counter, kissing me hard and grappling with the buttons on his jeans. It was rough and heavy and needy and it turned out it was exactly what I needed tonight. To just fuck and think of nothing or no one else.

It had been like this the last time he came around however it hadn't ended well and I had spent the rest of the night trying to boost his male pride. _It happens a lot_ I had said. _Don't worry about it._ Secretly I was bothered. What girl wouldn't be?

I helped with his jeans and grabbed his hard dick with my hand pumping it slowly as he ripped open my blouse and took my nipple into his mouth. His hands bunched up my skirt around my waist then he spun me round and bent me over the kitchen side. I was excited and all thoughts of the failed attempt two months ago had left my mind. I closed my eyes and focussed on the way he pulled my knickers to the side and stroked his tip along my wet entrance.

As he pushed inside of me, we both moaned loudly. My insides clenched around him as he began to fuck me, one hand in the middle of my back pressing me into the counter and the other gripping my hip. It was hard and fast and he had me teetering on the edge of orgasm quickly.

It was good while it lasted. After a minute or two he lost his erection and kept slipping out of me, no matter how many times he tried to put it back in.

He eventually gave up and stepped away, re-fastening his jeans. He said he was _sorry_ then turned and left me bent over the kitchen side with my bottom in the air. I found I wasn't even that disappointed that he had left, bar the fact that I had been so close to coming.

I showered quickly after that, washing his touches and his scent off my body. I went into my bedroom, undressed and lay beneath the covers, touching myself. Dancing my fingers across my bare skin. Circling my nipples with the tips of my fingers and delving my other hand in-between my legs. My fingers slipped slowly inside, coating it with wetness before i began circling my clit as I pinched my nipples, finally bringing myself over the edge not thinking of Ron, but of someone else. I think about him every time. Even when I was being fucked by Ron I thought of him. Wishing it was his hands gripping my skin and his dick inside me.

It's hard not to think about him. I work with him everyday. I see him every day, we talk everyday. It used to be difficult. We used to fight and scream and yell at each other and the rest of the team used to hate us being partners but now we just... I don't know.

It's as if we just got everything out of the way. Every bad thing that had happened between us had been said by the other. It had all been laid bare from the many arguments and now everything was there in the open. It made it easier for us to get along yet it made it harder for me to control my feelings. He is so stubborn and has no filter. He just says what's on his mind without thinking but at least you know where you stand with him that way. I on the other hand like to play my cards close to my chest. I like to keep things hidden. Hence why I think of him when I am alone in my home and why I don't let my feelings interfere with our work.

He's asked me back to his place more times than I can count. We close a case and go out for a few drinks to celebrate. We flirt and we laugh and we joke and sometimes he strokes my thigh with his feather light touches that sends electric through my body and I want nothing more than to reach out a touch him too. I always decline despite the longing between my legs and the ache in my gut. I hate myself for it but it's easier this way.

Then the next day at work we ignore the night before and get on with our jobs. We're the best, after all. That's what they keep telling us and that's why we get the best cases because we work well together. Anything more than a working relationship and it always gets messy.

It doesn't stop me thinking about him on nights like this where I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like if one time I said yes. If I went back to his and let him touch more than my thigh. If I let him kiss me. Maybe it would be different if we weren't drunk. Maybe it would be different in the sober light of day if he asked me then. Would I say yes?

Yes.

Every time yes.

But he never has and I doubt he ever will.

* * *

 ** _Draco Malfoy_**

 ** _February 13th_**

She's distracted today.

She's barely looked at me.

It might be the case. Dead end after dead end. It doesn't exactly scream an ideal scenario for detectives to be in. We like clue's. We like finding the trail and at the moment the trail has gone cold. So she does what she can. She researches everything she can about the victim and I re-read the case file. It's what we do when we can't figure out what else to do.

It's quiet in the office today, her head buried in the paperwork on her desk. I ask her how her evening was and she replies that it was _fine_. On a good day she would ask me how my night was but I wouldn't tell her exactly what I got up to.

 _Oh, I went out with Blaise again to a couple of bars, had a few drinks_ I would say. Leaving out the part where I received a blow job off a beautiful French Beaxbatons Alumni in the toilet whilst thinking of her the whole time, wishing it was her lips wrapped around my dick and not the blonde on her knees in-between my legs.

She would nod and joke with me that if I hadn't been focussing on getting inebriated with one on my friends, that maybe we would be closer to closing this case. I would tease her back, saying she needed to relax and she would kick me under the desk and tell me she would be more relaxed if I weren't around.

While I reminded her that she couldn't live without me let alone do this job without me, she would shrug her shoulders and I would watch the small smile spread across her freckled cheeks because she could never keep a straight face. She thinks she is so unreadable.

She would eventually get back to her paperwork and I would get back to the case notes. Not today. It seems she is on another planet today.

Even in the silence she's excellent company but my mind wanders quickly and I can't help looking at her. Chewing her lip as she pours over the mountain of paperwork on her desk. I want to take her lip and drag it between my own teeth.

She must know. I make it obvious. Well, I try to keep any flirting above board during office hours but on the occasion I get her on her own and she loosens up after a glass of wine I never hold back. She always declines which is frustrating because I think the way she looks at me when her inhibitions are lowered is the same look I can feel on my own face.

I must be reading everything wrong and I need to stop thinking about this. To stop thinking about her and move on.

I need to get out. I need a distraction. So I decide to slip away and grab us both some lunch before I do something unprofessional.

* * *

 ** _Blaise Zabini_**

 ** _February 13th_**

Not even the three vials of pepper up potion that I took this morning could subdue the thumping in my head. I always drink too much and Draco always seems to know when to stop which is infuriating because as a child he was the one that never knew when to give up.

I take a long, lazy shower, dress slowly and head for the only place I know for sure that will cure my hangover.

The Quidditch field.

She was there again. It seems she is always there. It's the closest training field to her home; so I've been told. I hear she's in line for trials at the Holyhead Harpies and I'm not surprised because she knows how to handle a broom. As I walk onto the edge of the pitch she descends from the clouds and lands a few feet away from me. Her cheeks are rosy and I can tell she has been here for at least an hour. She nods her head my way then makes her way towards the changing rooms at the far end of the pitch. I kick off from the ground feeling a tinge of annoyance that yet again I have failed to make conversation with her.

With my fuzzy head and my anger at myself I do a couple of laps before I take a break and fly as high as I can into the air. When the stands and the pitch are far below me and the wind is howling around my ears I hang onto my broom and relish in the feel of the bitterly cold winds, biting at my fingertips. I try to block out all thoughts of her red hair and her freckled skin. She is still taken, last time I checked which I seem to do every week. And besides I have Theo.

Well, he isn't mine. We aren't each others. We just fuck each other occasionally. Theo is gay. He told me one drunken night after the War had ended and I told him I liked men and women and he had kissed me and I had let him.

He is so obviously in love with someone else but he comes back to me and I let him because we've been doing this for some many years it's sometimes hard to stop. He confides in me that he is scared because he doesn't think the guy he is in love with loves him back. Theo is this guys secret and Theo doesn't want to be a secret anymore. So when they argue and when they fight, Theo comes to me because I don't treat him like a secret.

Theo knows I have been crushing over Red for a little over a year now and he is the one who informs me of her relationship status as her brother turns out to be the one he is desperately in love with.

When I head back down to ground my head is clearer until I see Red at the edge of the pitch watching me. When she sees I notice her, she slowly pushes herself off the post and turns towards the exit. I wonder whether she was waiting for me and I shake my head immediately after. She's a good girl. She's _his_ girl.

I promise myself that next time I will definitely talk to her. She's taken but what's wrong with a bit of friendly conversation?

I decide that once I have showered I will go to Draco at work and buy him lunch. He works with Granger and she is one of Red's best friends so maybe, just maybe I can find out more.

That is until I arrive back at home. I find Theo, sitting on my sofa and he has made me a drink. It's eleven in the morning but he tells me he needs this so I take the whiskey on ice and drink with him. I sit next to him and listen to him talk and after a few more drinks he places his hand on my leg and kisses me. Before I know it he is in between my legs and he is taking my dick out of my trousers.

He licks me from base to tip and I try to relax i to it. I may be infatuated with Red but everything with Theo has always felt comfortable. I think I've missed him. Or the intimacy. I'm not sure.

He finally takes my dick in his mouth and knit my fingers in his hair, guiding him up and down while I close my eyes and find my mind wandering. It doesn't take long for me to come.

Theo hands me another drink and we talk for a bit longer until he straddles me and kisses me deeply. He tells me he needs this.

I take him to my bedroom and I undress him and he undresses me and he kisses my dark skin and I nibble his earlobe because I know that's what he likes. I settle between his legs and I push slowly into him. He moans and kisses me and tells me that I am everything he needs. I know he is lying but it's what he needs to say and I let him say it to me. I take his dick in my hand and stroke it as I move my own in and out of him and he comes loudly a few minutes later on his own chest.

I slip out of him and off the bed and jump into the shower to finish myself off. I am not surprised when I walk back into the bedroom to dress that he is gone. He got what he needed and to an extent, so did I.

* * *

 ** _Ginny Weasley_**

 ** _February 14th_**

Valentines day is a day you are supposed to spend with your loved ones. To show them that regardless of the past year; the fights, the anger, the mundane nature of day to day relationships; that they put all that aside to be with you. To show you just how much you actually mean to them.

So why did I spend mine alone, in a restaurant waiting for my loved who in all honesty had probably forgotten about the date?

The last meal we went on I'm pretty sure was his birthday and that was seven months ago. Subsequently that was the first time we had invited someone else into our bedroom and the last time we had sex.

She was different and she never cared about saying exactly what she thought so when a group of us had gone out for a meal that night to celebrate, a few drinks turned into an after party at my brothers house. She said to Harry that she wanted to lick my cunt said to me that she wanted Harry to watch. We laughed it off in our drunken states but as the party wore on we found ourselves the last ones awake in the kitchen and I was more curious than ever.

I hitched up my dress, sat on the kitchen counter and she spread my legs and licked my pussy until I came on her face as Harry watched from the corner of the room. We took the Floo back to ours and she undressed me and touched me and kissed me so tenderly. I released I hadn't been touched like this by Harry for over a year and the excitement of the night was also something that had been missing from the sparse intimate moments that we had shared over the past few months.

She begged Harry to fuck me while she watched. He was hesitant but then faltered and pushed into me quickly, fucking me from behind as I was bent over the edge of the bed. She didn't watch for long. She lay beneath me, playing with me and finger fucking herself until the three of us came in a mess of strangled cries and moans.

Luna said that she wanted to do it again. I said yes, already craving the closeness I had felt when she had touched me and kissed me. Harry said no.

A week later after he had barely looked at me or touched me, he sat me down and said he wanted me to be happy and if fucking Luna made me happy, he wanted me to do it. He didn't mind but he didn't want to fuck her. It seemed he didn't want to fuck me either.

As I sat at the restaurant and spun my glass between my fingers, an hour into my dateless evening and wondering just how long I should wait for him, a recognisable face walked over to my table. He is tall and dark and handsome and he offers his hand and introduces himself.

I told him I knew exactly who he was and he smiled at me. He had a wide smile that seemed to be infectious because he had me smiling in seconds despite my unhappy thoughts a few seconds ago. I offered him the spare seat at my table and he ushered the waiter over to order some drinks.

He told me he had seen me at the Quidditch field a few times. _I feel like I live there at the moment_ I said, going on to tell him about my trial in a few weeks with the Holyhead Harpies. He sat back in his chair and congratulated me, adding that he wasn't surprised because he thought I could handle a broom. It made my cheeks flush. I found my heart began to beat quicker as he subtly flirted with me. I hadn't even told Harry about my trial but at that moment it didn't even cross my mind.

I asked him if he generally spent his Valentines finding lonely, dateless women to befriend and he looked at me for a few seconds before telling me I was the only one tonight. The waiter interrupted us then and placed two glasses of Merlot on the table. I took a sip and it was woody and smooth and delicious and could have possible been the best wine I had ever tasted and I told him so and he smiled once more.

I told him I didn't want to interrupt his evening and that I was perfectly capable of sitting and drinking alone. He explained that he owned the restaurant and had by chance popped in to make sure everything was okay and saw me. He told me he had been meaning to introduce himself for some time due to our seemingly regular Quidditch schedule so this seemed like the perfect time. I agreed it was and my stomach spun.

He asked if I was excited for my trial and I told him openly that I was worried, wondering if I had left it too late or if I was too old to bother. He asked me why - _why now?_ \- and I responded immediately with a _why not?_ _Why wonder what if? Why not just do it and not feel like you may have missed an opportunity?_

He agreed, adding it was never too late and he kept my eye contact when he said he would have hated to miss the opportunity to talk to me tonight, so he could relate to my scenario. He sipped his wine slowly, eyeing me across the table and I could feel excitement like I hadn't felt since that first night with Luna. I smirked at him until my eyes fell over his shoulder to the Grandfather clock in the corner of the restaurant.

Harry was nearly an hour and a half late. He hadn't sent a message. He hadn't bothered to let me know why. It seemed obvious to me at that moment, that the extent of our intimacy is that we share a bed and that is it. Everything else seemed to have got lost along the way.

He is more intimate with his work than he is with me. He spends all day at work then most nights he brings it home with him and I go to bed on my own and feel him join me some hours later. Most days he is gone before I even wake and when I am at my lowest I call Luna and she holds me and she touches me and she fucks me in our bed.

Being Head Auror at twenty five is not an easy job. If anyone could do it, it was him and I am proud of him for what he has achieved. It's all he ever wanted and all I wanted for him and I'm so happy for him yet everything has changed when we promised it wouldn't. The terrible, heart breaking thing is that I find I am changing and so is he and I actually don't mind that we are.

Guilt floods my insides. Here I am having and albeit innocent drink with another man on Valentines day when all I can think about how his hands would feel trailing the insides of my legs.

Harry is most likely probably snowed under at work, rifling through paperwork and having a shitty time. We may be different people but I am not _that_ person. He knows about me and Luna. He allows it to happen but this would be entirely different.

I thank my companion for the drink and offer my hand to him. He takes it and tells me that if I ever need a practise partner he would be more than happy to oblige and I thank him for the offer before heading to pay my bill. He walks me to the door with his hand pressed against the small of my back and tells me my money is no good and sees me to the apparition point.

It is now ten thirty and Harry is still not home and I can't stop thinking about everything. I need to talk to Harry so desperately to sort all this out and I cannot sleep until I do.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 ** ** ** ** ** ** **First Half of Part 1 above. ** ** ** ** ** **Second part will be uploaded later this week once I have edited everything.**************************

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Would love to hear what you think so please leave a review :)********************

 ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **Elle x********************


	2. Part 1 Continued

_**Part 1**_

* * *

 _ **Pansy Parkinson**_

 _ **February 14th**_

He kissed me. It finally happened yet now I feel more confused than ever.

Tonight was like any normal night. He stayed late so did I, like I always do. It's not exactly like I have an active social life. I haven't exactly got many friends and the friends I do have, have jobs and partners and lives of their own and we barely find time to see one another. So when he stays late, so do I. I would rather be with him at work than be at home and thinking about him on my own. I never seem to shut off from work and neither does he.

 _Do you have the list of new recruits for next week?_ he asked me. _It's already on your desk_ I responded with a smile and he ran his hand through his hair and smiled back at me before looking down the list. He joined me a few minutes later by the large blackboard on his office wall. I was making the final changes to the training plan for the following week. _What would I do without you?_ he asked quietly and when I turned to him he was already watching me. I swear I saw his eyes drop to my lips and my stomach lurched. _You couldn't do this without me_ I said somewhat confidantly and left the room to get us a coffee.

When I returned he was still in the same position but he was staring at the names on the top of the arrest leaderboard. He pondered out loud about the two of them and how he never would have thought that they would have ever got on as well as they had. I agreed with him. Yet there they both were. Top of the leader board together. Every month, the same two names.

I handed him his coffee and everything was silent for a time until he asked me the strangest question. _When did everything change?_ I told him I didn't know what he meant and he turned to me and said _of course you do._ My breath hitched in my throat as he looked at me. His deep green eyes burning my skin like they always did because everything with him was also so intense. His words, his actions, his looks. My feelings for him.

 _We changed_ he said. _Yes we did_ I responded in a whisper, sipping my coffee and he turned to me and stepped closer. He said he was different. That he didn't see things the same way he did a few years ago and he confessed he was worried about just when he had lost himself. I asked him if that's what he really thought, that he was losing himself. He nodded. _Maybe you aren't lost at all_ I said. _Maybe you are actually just finding yourself. Maybe you are becoming exactly who you want to be._

He was after all exactly how I liked him. However he changed he would always be the same to me and I thought this as I looked at him. And then he kissed me. Not just a peck on the cheek or an awkward stumbling of lips and teeth. He threaded his free hand into my hair, stroking my cheek with his thumb as he placed his lips gently to mine and I let him. I held my half drunk coffee close to my chest and gripped his shirt at his waist, pulling myself into him as much as I could.

It lasted a few euphoric seconds before he pulled back and whispered _I'm sorry_ into my panting mouth. He took my cup from my hand and placed both mine and his on the filing cabinet next to us before he replaced his hand in my hair and kissed me again. This time his free hand ran round to the small of my back and pulled me closer into him as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue massaged against my own and I thought of nothing but him and how this felt and how this was all I had wanted for months.

That was until I saw _her_ face.

I kept my eyes closed and placed my hands on his his chest, pushing him back and it took everything I had in me to do it. _We can't_ I whispered and after a few seconds he nodded resting his forehead against mine. I could feel his heaving chest underneath my fingertips and I had to swallow back the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes because whilst this man was everything to me, I was not this person. I was not someone who went around kissing other people's boyfriends. _I need to figure this out_ he whispered after what felt like hours of us holding onto one another and then he stepped away from me and I felt cold and alone.

When I opened my eyes, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He was no where to be seen.

* * *

 _ **Ronald Weasley**_

 _ **February 15th**_

I don't really know what I was expecting from tonight. A few beers at the Leaky Cauldron or a quiet night in listening to the Chudley Cannons versus the Shifnal Speeders on my radio. I was not expecting my sister to turn up at my doorstep. I was not expecting her to tell me that she and Harry had broken up or that she was having to move in with me for a few weeks until she found her own place. I wasn't expecting her to hug me and most of all I was not expecting he to cry.

I wrapped my arms around her as best as I could and lead her to my couch. After an hour or so, the crying stopped. I made her a drink and I ordered chinese food and we laughed and listened to the Quidditch together.

I'm her Brother and Harry is my best friend so I don't exactly have an unbiased opinion on the whole situation but to be fair I was shocked. I thought they were perfect. I thought they had it made. It shows just how stupid I am sometimes.

I seem to make stupid decisions. Like with Theo. I called it off again and I went back to Hermione. I fucked that up too. I seem to fuck everything up. I go to fridge and grab myself a beer before I Owl Harry and tell him that Ginny is here safe because I know if she didn't tell him that he would be worried. I ask him to meet for lunch tomorrow. I get the return Owl half an hour later with a _Thanks_ and a _Yes_ to lunch.

I think about Owl'ing Theo. I've wanted to Owl him since Tuesday when we had another fight. We always seem to fight. It is always because of me. I am scared about what I am feeling for him. I have never felt this way about anyone before, let alone another guy. It was always women. It had always been women I had been attracted to until I met Theo.

I kissed him first. It was late one night and out of the blue and unexpected from me and it was fast and im pretty sure I bumped my teeth into his but I kissed him. I was terrified at what I had done. I wondered whether I would get a punch in the face but he took my hand and apparated me to his home and then he kissed me. He wasn't as nervous as I was because he took his time and he was slow and gentle and tender andd it set off those fucking bubbles in my stomach and I felt like such an idiot. I left twenty minutes later, thourally confused but curious and wanting to know more.

The first time... well the first time I went down on him I didn't know what to do. He took my face in his hands and he kissed me and he told me that if I was nervous that I didn't have to do it. Instead he lay me down on his bed and he made me feel comfortable. He undressed me slowly and kissed my skin where my clothes had been. I had never felt anything like it. Comfort with someone, a sort of sense of security that even despite my trepidation and thudding heartbeat I wanted every moment and didn't want it to end.

I closed my eyes as he licked and sucked my dick and fuck did it feel so good. I opened my eyes and watched him and he held my gaze and I came watching him. After that, I wasn't so scared. I did what he did to me. I undressed him and I kissed him and as he moaned I was spurred on and suddenly I wasn't afraid anymore. He came quickly in my mouth and I surprised myself by swallowing. Then he pulled me back up to him and he kissed me again and I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me.

He is different. He is quiet and pensive whreas I am rather loud and say whatever the hell I like which is usually why we end up arguing because I can't stop the words sometimes. I just tell him how I feel. I try to be open with him and tell him how hard this is for me because it is all new to me. He is sure of himself and he tells me he is sure of me and it terrifies me and excites me at the same time.

I miss him.

* * *

 _ **Harry Potter**_

 _ **February 16th**_

I have managed to avoid her for two days but now I fear that she is the one who is actually avoiding me. I had been getting into work before her as I always have done. I leave as late as I always have done. I have heard her talking to other people through the door that separates us but she knows my schedule and she knows I don't often use my door and I'm sure she is using it on purpose.

I was avoiding her because I didn't want to see her. I was avoiding her because I felt like a piece of shit. I was in a relationship when I kissed her. When I kissed her twice in fact; Ginny not even a piece in my thought process; and she had kissed me back until she had to remind me that actually I was with someone else. I left her. I shouldn't have just left her. I should have explained to her what was going on in my head and now I cant face her because I am possibly the biggest arsehole in the world and I don't know what to do.

Ginny was waiting for me when I got home and I wondered for a moment whether she knew. Whether she came to my office and saw us kissing but after she talked I realised that she didn't know and I was so happy. I was happy that I didn't have to explain because how could I tell her.

Then she told me she didn't love me the way she used to love me. _I love you but not like I used to_. So I told her I kissed someone else.

 _Fuck_ she screamed and the tears fell from her eyes and I don't remember the amount of times I said sorry before she looked and me and said she was sorry too as she wiped away the tears. _Everything changed_ she said and I nodded and looked at my feet.

 _When did we change?_ she asked me and I remembered asking Pansy a similar question less than half an hour before. Only this time I knew it was the same day I got promoted to Head Auror. I knew it was the day I got this job because my priorities changed and everything I wanted when I was seventeen was no longer the case.

Ginny is a one of a kind. She is beautiful and full of life and fiercly independant and I have loved that about her. She wants adventure. I realised no so long ago that I was never going to be enough for her. I think she was always too much for me and I tried so hard to keep up with her it just sometimes ran away with me and I did things because I thought she wanted them rather than actually truely wanting them myself.

Lunch with Ron was quiet. I didn't know what to say to him. He asked me if we were both sure. If this wasn't just some silly fight but I said I was sure and he said _That's what Ginny said_. Atleast we are both on the same page. It is odd. To think I will never lie in the same bed as her or talk to her again. Well at least until this all blows over. She has been my friend and confidant for years and it is hard to let that go.

I actually cannot stop thinking about Pansy. I don't know what this means. Never in a million years did I ever think I would kiss her. She is quiet and sometimes shy but when I kissed her I felt confidance in her kisses and her touches and I enjoyed it. She is very, very attractive. She has a certain sex appeal I find hard to describe but it is something in the way that she walks, or holds herself that I find very attractive. Maybe it is the way she dresses. She wears figure hugging clothes. Nothing that shows off anything. It is classy. Always in heels which helps show off her amazing figure and I have had to check myself many times in the past when she has walked out of my office because I find myself watching her. When she wears her glasses it accentuates her features and her dark brown eyes pop even more and find myself struggling to look away.

I figured that was normal. That I was just attracted to a colleague in a way that men find women attractive but I find that it isn't just that. She is intelligent. She is sophisticated. She is a hard worker and she is thoughtful and she seems to remember eveything while I forget everything. When I think about not having her around at work I worry. I could not do this without her. When I think about our kiss and the way she held onto me I worry. I worry I stepped out of line and I worry she hates me for it and I worry that actually, I won't ever get that chance to kiss her again.

I Owled Hermione, my concious in times of crisis to see if she is free for drinks tonight and she tells me she is seeing Ginny but says she will come round tomorrow to see me.

Draco has popped his head round the door. He and Blaise and a few others are going to the Leaky Cauldron for a few beers and asks if I wanted to join. I gladly accept and tell him I will meet him there as soon as I finish up. Anything is better than going home alone and being left to my own thoughts. Maybe after a few drinks I can just pass out and sleep until I have a chance to talk to Hermione.

* * *

 _ **Theodore Nott**_

 _ **February 17th**_

 _Can I come over?_ He writes and I throw the parchment into my fireplace. Pansy looks at me in confusion and I tell her I don't want to see him while I sip my coffee and avoid her gaze.

She tells me I love him. _But does he love me?_ I ask and she shrugs her shoulders. There are times when I think he loves me. There are those times where we wake up together and he wraps his arms around me and holds me and kisses my cheek and tells me how amazing _this_ feels.

Draco wanders through my Floo and looks at the both of us. _Merlin, what happened to you two?_ Blaise follows behind and laughs at us both. We look a mess. Both of us still in our pjamas at five in the afternoon with hangovers to die for. _Come on, we're going out_ they say and Pansy and I both shake our heads. Blaise pulls two vials of pepper-up potion out of his pocket and places then infront of both of us and we grab for the corks and drain the bottles in unision.

Draco then pulls out a bottle of Firewhiskey out of his coat pocket and tells us we are off to a new bar that has opened up in Diagon Alley. Pansy showers first and I follow spending a little too long under the hot water. I dress modestly in grey trousers, a white shirt and a checked blazer and take time styling my hair and trying to hide the bags that have formed under my eyes from lack of sleep and lack of Ron.

The three of us drain two tumblers of Whiskey waiting for Pansy and when she finally appears she gets a round of wolf whistles from all of us. She knows how to dress. She has on a black leather pencil skirt, black stilettos and a cream blouse. _Damn, Pansy_ Draco says and she puts her hands on her hips. _You had your chance_ she jibes back blowing him a kiss and Blaise laughs loudly in my ear. His hand is wrapped around the back of my chair and it feels normal. I think of Ron and I want to run out of the room.

The bar was loud and busy. Luckily we found seats because Pansy complains about her feet hurting and Draco comments as to why she bothers to wear them. _If_ _I didn't I wouldn't get half the reaction I did when you guys saw me. Who are you trying to impress_ he asks. _None of your business,_ she says, her eyes searching the bar for him. She is lost like me.

Blaise and Draco try to entertain the both of us but we are low and they quickly get bored of trying to perk us up. I watch Blaise chat up a tall brunette at the bar. He buys her and her friend a drink and becons Draco over soon after. Pansy turns down two offers of a drink that come her way from strangers in the bar and by the third drink that is sent her way, she tells me she is leaving. I watched her as she stalks through the bar, keeping her eyes open for him, even thought he wasnt there.

I watch Blaise and Draco. It never bothers me. To watch Blaise chat someone up. We both know what we are. We are friends that fuck and nothing more. However weird that may seem, he offers me comfort and I do the same to him. Althought the guilt that flooded me after I went to see him earlier in the week is still lingering. I shouldn't have. But I did because I needed to feel like I was wanted by someone.

As I watch them I catch the eye of a blonde guy across the bar. He smiles at me and I smile back. After a few minutes he makes his way over to me and asks if he can sit down. I recognise him. I ask him if he went to Hogwarts and he says yes. He tells me he played Quidditch and I place him then. He introuduces himself as Cormac and I offer my name to him. _Yes, I remember you_ he says and he wraps his arms around the back on my chair. I think of Ron and I want to run from the bar.

I make polite conversation with him. He is attractive. Very atrractive. His blonde hair is styled to the side and the shirt he wears is open a few buttons showing his muscley chest. I am attracted to him but I can't think of anything esle other than Ron. I don't want anyone else other than Ron. Cormac asks if he can buy me a drink but I decline, telling him that I am heading home. He stands telling me that it is a shame I am leaving. As I step out of the table he takes a hold of my arm.

 _If you ever fancy that drink, Owl me_.

I look into his piercing blue eyes and I realise that I am very attracted to him. More than I have been to anyone since Ron. I nod my head and tell him I will because after all what is stopping me?

I don't bother saying goodbye to the other two and I wander to the apparition point and get myself home. I find Pansy wrapped in her dressing gown nursing a glass of red wine. She has already poured me one. I take it from her and wrap my other arm around her and she rests her head on my shoulder.

 _You should Owl him back_ she says and I exhale loudly into her hair. _I can't go through it again_ I tell her and whilst part of me believes it, the other part of me wants to send him that Owl, just to see what he has to say.

I don't Owl him though because at that moment I have too much pride.

 _You should Owl him_ I tell her, pulling her closer to me and she shakes her head. _I can't_ she whispers and we sit in silence of our own thoughts.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Please leave a review, I want to know what you think to see if you think this is worth continuing so please, leave one if you like it :)**

 **Elle x**


	3. Part 2

**Part 2**

* * *

 ** _Hermione Granger_**

 ** _February 21st_**

 _Re-check the witnesses, re-check everything. You've missed something - so find it._ Harry says in an agitated voice. Draco stiffens up next to me and he glares at the back of Harrys' head as he walks away.

 _Who the fuck does he think he is!_ Draco yells taking a seat at his desk after I shut the door behind Harry. _He is our boss._ I tell him and cross my arms over my chest, watching him bent over his desk with his head in his hands. I call his name, hoping to snap him out of whatever trance he seems to be in but his head seems to hang lower. I step closer to him and see the strong lines of his shoulders under his shirt tensing. I called his name again softly.

His fingers clench on the table and his tendons are flexing and I wan to reach out and touch him. I don't. I punch him on the arm instead and I walk around to my desk and sit down. I look up at him a few minutes later and he is sat back in his chair and stroking his arm looking over at me.

 _So, What do we do?_ He asks me and I shake my head. _We start at the beginning._ I say rifling through the papers on my desk to find the stack of witness statements. I pull on my coat and head for the door and turn back and wait for him. It takes him a minute but he finally stands and grabs his coat off the back of his chair and stands next to me as he slips his arms into the sleeves. His fist knocks into my arm like I did to him earlier and he grins at me as I open the door.

We meet the first witness on our list a little over twenty minutes later and Draco huffs beside me, frustrated at being back here for the third time in as many weeks. I ask the questions, he flicks through the notes to make sure we missed nothing. We miss nothing and we move on. _It's Groundhog day._ Draco moans by the time we finish off with the last witness. We stop for coffee on our way back to the office.

 _Let's try the morgue again._ I ask hopefully and he groans loudly and drops his head against our table. Half of the patrons in the shop turn to look over at us and I try to supress the laugh but it has escaped my mouth before I know it and he tells me to shut up before looking back up at me and running his hand over his head.

 _Late night?_ I ask him tentitevely. _Very late._ He replies and he winks at me and I look away becuase he is insinuating something and can't talk to him about that. _Come on._ I nod towards the door. He follows reluctantly behind me and we Apparate to the Morgue.

We spent thirty minutes checking and recheking the victims's personal items before Draco moves onto her clothes. They are expensive and I can still smell her perfume radating from them. It must be hard for Draco. Working this case. He knew her. In so much as Purebloods are associated. He tells me he is fine but she was part of his childhood and his past and if it were me I don't think I could be as together as he is. He has a habit of looking like he is holding it together but there are times when he breaks. I have only ever seen this once and it nearly destroyed me.

He yells loudly in the quiet space and I jump back from my chair and spin my wand around the room out of habit. He walks over to me with purpose, pushes my wand out of his chest and shoves her small open diary into my hand. I look down and take it from his gloved hands into mine and I scan the page quickly. The pages looked like they had been stuck together

 _TD - Hog's Head - 9pm_

 _TD?_ I wonder out loud. The date in the diary is the same date that Millicent Warrington was murdered. Draco is smiling, a smile that I have not seen on him in a long time. _We have our first lead_ he says and grabs my hand a pulls me from the morgue.

* * *

 ** _Blaise Zabini_**

 ** _February 22nd_**

 _I should leave._

I kept telling myself that over and over again.

I should leave.

But I couldn't move. I was in a fucking trance.

I was stood in the doorway, one hand still resting on the swing door to the changing room, broom in hand - and that isn't a euphamism - So I just... watched.

Red was lying down on one of the bench's in the changing room, towel wrapped around her , damp hair splayed out around her head looking like a goddess with her legs spread either side of the bench.

There was someone inbetween her legs. Someone who had their face inbetween her legs. Someone with long, bright blonde hair and when she finally came up for air I saw it was her. Blondie.

This was most guys wet dream. To walk in and see something like this. It was hot - I mean really hot. Watching Red's face as she writhed and moaned against Blondie's ministrations on her body. It was insanely hot. It's not like I saw much. Blondie was fully dressed, Red was covered by her towel and her - what I assume is a perfect pussy - was covered by Blondie's face.

I don't know how long I stood there but I watched Red's face as she came, gripping the sides of the bench between her fingers, mouth wide moaning and legs twitching around Blondie's head.

It was mesmerising.

I watched as she came down. Her heavy breaths could no longer be heard from my position by the door and I watched as she sat up and ran her hands through her still damp hair. She took Blondie's face in her hand and kissed her slowly, tasting her own juices on the others tongue. I can't count the amount of times my dick had twitched in my trousers.

Blondie ran her fingers over Red's covered body and Red moans deliciously again before she palms Blondie's breast as she kisses her. Blondie reaches for Red's towel and it drops around her waist and I fucking wimper at the sight of her creamy skin. Out loud.

Both their heads snap towards me and get the fuck out of there fast. Well as fast as I can with the lump in my trousers. I disapparate as soon as I am out of the grounds and I immediately go home and I shower. I got distracted by the changing room before I even had time to work out yet I feel like I have flown 100 laps- my heart is racing so fast.

I shower, letting the water wash over my skin and I come quickly thinking of the both of them and what might have happened, what I might have seen had I not just kept my fucking mouth shut. After I finish I immediately think of Red's face when she saw me, the brief moment I saw her lips part and her arms wrap tight around her in shock.

I am a fucking idiot.

I should have left.

There are rumours that her and Hero-boy have broken up. By rumours I mean Draco tells me because Granger tells him and I wonder whether it was because of Blondie.

I Owl Draco to meet me. _We have a lead - I can't leave._ He responds. Fuck.

I think about Owling Theo - but I think better of it. He will either wat to fuck me or want to cry on me and quite frankly I am not up for either at this moment in time.

I head to the restaurant to check on things and I end up staying for a solitary lunch. Just as I am finishing, Red and Blondie walk in. Red spots me immediately, as if she were looking for me but looks away quickly, avoiding me. I don't know quite exactly how this makes me feel.

Blondie spots me and makes a beeline for me, taking a seat before I even offer it to her. Red follows and stands by the side of the table with her arms crossed, avoiding me despite the amount of times I have already tried to catch her eye. Her hair is dry now and hangs long and straight down her back. She looks relaxed dressed in jeans and a simple black jacket. So different from her usual attire that I see her in at the Quidditch Field.

Blondie talks away in my ear about wanting to book a party using the back room and bar and I nod and offer any of the restuarants services that she requires.

 _What about your services?_ She asks me with a wicked grin and this is the first time I look at her properly. She has round bright blue orb-like eyes that seem to shine the more I look at them.

 _What services would those be?_ I grin back because I know exactly what she means as I take a sip of my water. She placed her hand on my leg and stroked along the inside of my thigh. The glass stills at my mouth and my eyes immediately look for Red, who is looking at the hand on my leg.

 _Why didn't you join in?_ She comments as I try to control the blood rushing to my dick and the flashes of filthy images flirting in my mind. _I didn't know I had an invitation_ I offer, watching Red's cheeks blush as she continues to look at me. Usually I would lick my lips, giving them a sign that I'm interested but with her it was different. I didn't want to do it that way.

 _It was only supposed to be the two of us, but I find myself wanting to watch you._ She confuses me. I guess I am attracted to her but mainly because her hand is now dangerously close to the buldge in my trousers. _Wanting to watch me what?_ I ask, teetering on the edge of curiosity. _I want to watch you two together._ She breathes not so quietly into my ear and I look over at Red and Red stares back at me for a few seconds before the comment lands with her.

 _Luna! R_ ed yells dragging her friend to a standing position and trying to push her towards the door. _I'm sorry._ She mouths back before they reach the door and leave me and my throbbing dick alone for the second time today.

She is a good girl - I can sense she is but there is also that glint that makes me think otherwise. She was his girl. Maybe now she is her girl now. Is she even now more off limits than she was before?

* * *

 ** _Ginny Weasley_**

 ** _February 23rd_**

 _Do you like him?_ She asks me as she wraps her arms around my waist. I remove her hands and I walk away from her and into the bathroom to find my makeup.

She follows me. _I'll take that as a yes_ she says as she rests her shoulder against the doorframe. I briefly look over at her, in her pale blue underwear, pulling her fingers through her wavy hair. _Please stop_ I beg her and I look back to the mirror trying to focus on my mascara and not the tingling in my stomach as I think about him.

 _I can tell that you do_ she says. _I like him too. He's tall, dark and handsome. Why would I not?_

 _I really do not want to talk about him_ I say as I begin to apply my lipstick.

She stands behind me and places her hands on my waist and strokes my sides again gently and it makes me shiver and she feels it. She presses into my back and slides her hands up my stomach to my breasts and massages them gently and I have to rest my hands against the sink to steady myself.

She kisses the back of my neck, across my shoulders and down my back until I feel her begin to pull down my knickers. Half of me doesn't want to do this right now because I know we will end up being late for drinks but her fingers feel so soft against my skin and I am already aroused because of thinking of him so I close my eyes and think harder.

He is the one pulling down my knickers and it is his breath I feel warm against my cunt and his fingers stroking my already wet entrance. When she plunges her fingers inside of me I imagine it is his dick pumping inside me and when I feel her tongue against my clit I imagine it is his fingers rubbing me as he fucks me. I can feel the bubbling in my stomach as I rock against her fingers and when she pushes the pad of her tongue harder and faster over my clit I come with a blinding flash of light across my eyes.

 _Did you think about him?_ She asks as few minutes later as she kisses the back of my neck and I nod my head. I don't lie to her. She strokes her hand slowly down my back, kisses me once more between my shoulder blades and then moves from the room.

* * *

 ** _Draco Malfoy_**

 ** _February 24th_**

 _Wake up!_ My eyes snap open and I throw a stunning curse into the depths of the bedroom. She blocked my spell of course. I am tired and slow but she would win even if I wasn't. I wont ever admit that to her.

She smiles at me from the foot of my bed. She is holding two fresh cups of coffee and the smell radiates my way and already my senses perk up. I shift in my bed, sitting up against the headboard and turning on my bedside table lamp. When I check my watch I realise it is 6.15am. _How did you get in here?_ I ask as I rub my eyes, trying to wake up properly to understand just why she is here.

 _You really need to work on your wards._ She jokes as she walks around the bed and hands me the coffee. _You might want to..._ she nods her head at my bed and as I look down the covers are barely covering my dick.

Yes, I sleep naked.

I don't pull the covers up. I just smile at her and she looks away from me, around my room, anywhere but me. _You could join me, Granger_ I joke yet really it is laced with very serious connotations. She looks at me for a second, then to the space next to me in my too-large for my bed. It's there. Like I said before. I see it sometimes.

Then it is gone. _Get out of bed_ She says, _You have five minutes_. I swing my legs round to the side of the bed, not caring about the covers slipping off me and she turns quickly away and walks out of my room.

 _Why exactly are you here again?_ I ask as I turn the shower on in my bathroom.

 _TD_ she yells back from the hallway. _I might know who it is._ I realise then that it is Saturday today and I moan loudly as I get into the shower. _The offer still stands, Granger_ I yell through the steam and the water. I don't hear her response but in my head she says yes and she joins me and it's fucking heaven.

 _Tracey Davis_. She explains to me when we apparate to the leads home. It's not a manor house but it certainly isn't small. One of those fancy London town houses, two houses to be exact that have been converted into one. All white and tall. I've been here before obviously but I don't mention it. I try not to mention my past if I can help it. Brings up too many... memories.

We can tell she was not expecting us at her door this early on a Saturday morning. _Draco?_ She muses even thought I know she knows who I am. _I'm just on my way out_ she says but she doesn't have a coat on, no bag in her hand, no shoes on her feet. She's wearing her dressing gown. _It will only take a minute_ Hermione says next to me and she smiles in a way that makes Tracey turn her nose up at her. I see Hermione's fist clench at her side and I place a reassuring hand on her shoulder and push her into the house.

We stand in the large hallway. Tracey does not invite us to sit down. How many times had we done this before? Too many. It's like a routine. I play nice, she plays tough. It works. Usually. Today however, not. We leave with nothing, no answers. _I haven't seen Millie in years. We fell out of touch._ Tracey kept saying and she seemed to be telling the truth.

 _What do we do now?_ Hermione asked. _We start again_ I offered as we pushed our way back into the coffee shop on Diagon Alley.

Blaise is there and he looks like shit. _You look like shit._

 _Fuck off_ is all he manages and Hermione looks at me with wide eyes. We don't even have to say anything, just a look and we are silently chuckling to one another behind his back. I see Theo from the corner of my eye walking back towards us. Hermione gives me a knowing look and moves away to order at the counter.

 _What's going on?_ I ask as Theo sits down next to Blaise. _Hangover_ Theo manages before he drains his coffee. _I've got a busy day at the restaurant_ Blaise stands and says nothing before he walks from the shop and Theo offers me nothing more. Hermione looks over at me. Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion and she gives me a small nod, checking if I am okay. I nod back in return. Half the time we don't need words.

 _What are you doing tonight?_ I ask and Theo shakes his head. _Nothing_ he says but he turns to look at Hermione over his shoulder. She see's him from the counter and she smiles at him. He turns back to me and rolls his eyes brushes past me. He stops at the door then walks back to me. _She's a good person right?_ He tilts his head towards her. _Yeah_ I reply. _Why doesn't he tell her? She'd understand right?_ I can see something in him. The hurt that ginger prick has caused him. _She would._ I tell him truthfully because I believe she would. _Then why doesn't he tell her?_ He is staring at her now and I have to knock him on the shoulder to get him to look back at me. _It isn't your secret to tell. It wouldn't be fair._

 _Nothing is fair_ he replies and he stares at her until he finally leaves.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Please leave me a review and let me know if you like the way the story is going and if you think it is worth continuing :) Part 2.2 will be uploaded soon!**

 **Elle x**


	4. Part 2 Continued

**Part 2 Continued**

* * *

 **Theodore Nott**

 **February 25th**

 _What are you doing tonight?_

 _Nothing._

 _How about a drink?_

 _I'm not sure._

 _Why not?_

 _I don't know what your intentions are with me._

 _Well getting to know you a bit better would be a good start._

 _What about after that?_ I'm such a tease.

 _We'd have a few drinks._

 _And after?_

 _I'd take you back to my place for a few more._

 _And after that?_

 _Well that all depends on what you want..._

I wonder what exactly it is I want from him. A quick fuck? I could go to Blaise for that. A relationship? I don't even know.

 _I'm not sure what I want from you yet._

 _Why don't you come for a drink and find out?_

He sure talks a good talk. We've been Owling for a few days and he hasn't yet given up. He's hot. Like... elite hot... model hot. Like he could be on the cover of Witch Weekly every fucking week, hot. Pansy thinks I should meet him for a drink.

Funny because she's ignoring her own situation and acting like nothing ever happened with Potter, yet telling me to fucking move on. I'm not angry at her. I'm just... frustrated. I've had two more Owl's from Ron which I haven't replied to. I Owl Cormac back instead.

 _How many drinks?_

 _Enough to get you back to my place._

 _Then what?_

 _If you're still not sure you can leave and I won't Owl you again._

 _And if I'm interested?_

 _I'll have you calling my name and begging me to make you come._

 _You think you're that good?_

 _I know I am_

I've got a semi. Fuck it.

 _8pm. Leaky Cauldron._

Pansy comes back just as I am leaving and she watches me finishing styling my hair. When I finally look at her she is resting against the doorframe and smiling. I tell her to fuck off and she laughs at me. _I assume this isn't for him?_ She asks. _You would assume right_. I respond and she smiles again and leaves the bathroom. I hear her open a bottle of wine and minutes later she meets me in the living room and hands me a small glass.

 _I'm jealous_ she says as she sits down and I roll me eyes at her and bite quickly. _Alteast I'm trying to move on rather than sitting at home wallowing._ I regret it as soon as I say it and she leaves quickly and slams her bedroom door. I drain my wine in one large gulp. I should follow her and apologise but then I look at the clock on the wall and it is 8.10 and I am already late and Pansy and I always do this so I leave with the promise that I will make it up to her tomorrow.

* * *

 ** _Ronald Weasley_**

 ** _February 26th_**

Last night was a fucking disaster.

I met Harry for drinks in the Leaky after work and we ended up drinking way too much. We ran into Cormac McLaggen. He's such a smarmy prick. He strolls over and thrusts his hand into Harry's face with a loud _Potter! Great to see you!_

What a prick. He called me Wesley. Fucking Wesley. Fucking prick.

Theo walked in and I think I might have had a heart attack. I could feel my hand shaking and my palms getting sweaty. He hasn't reponded to any of my Owl's. I looked away from him and sat back in my chair, trying to hide from him. I've been trying to get him to talk to me all week but when i finaly see him I'm an absolute chicken.

Then the smarmy prick looks around the bar and I can literally see his eyes light up as he see's Theo. He gives Harry a goodbye handshake, calls me Wesley one more time then makes his way over to Theo. He places his hand on his arm and Theo turns to him and smiles before Cormac orders them a drink. I can't take my eyes off them.

 _D_ o _you think they're on a date?_ Harry asks me and I respond too quickly with a loud _No. No way._

 _Why do you say that?_

 _Well... because... you know._ I'm stuttering. _Cormac is a slimy git. Who'd want to date him?_

 _Theodore Nott by the looks of it._ Harry nods their way and I can see the way Theo is looking at him.

 _Do you have a problem with it?_ I say as relaxed as I can. Harry looks at me in confusion. _Of course I dont_. He replies and I kick myself for asking that. Have I just made it seem obvious?

Harry takes a sip of his drink and looks around the bar. I look over at them again, they are making their way over to a table at the back of the bar. It's a booth and Theo sits down with his back to me.

 _What's the matter?_ Harry is watching me watch them.

 _With me?_ I ask casually. _Nothing mate._

 _Are you sure?_ He checks and I wish he would stop looking at me. Does he know? Does he know it's Theo?

 _Totally sure. It's just been a busy week. I'm tired._

I spend the rest of my drink stealing glances at the back of Theo's head. All I see is Cormac smiling and I have never wanted to punch someone so much in the face. Not even Malfoy and thay must be saying something. They look like they are having a good time and it aches somewhere in my chest. Harry doesn't seem to notice anymore. He seems distracted. _Another?_ He says after minutes of silence and I nod and move my eyes back to Theo.

I see him stand and turn and make his way towards where I sit. He looks good. He's wearing a shirt and a blazer which seems to be the combination he always goes for. I like it. I remember what it feels like to take his blazer off. Stroking it off his shoulders. He sees me, seems to walk slower for a moment but then he looks away and makes his way past me and into the toilets.

Harry comes back seconds later and pushes a pint under my nose. I take a large gulp, feeling the bubbles hit my stomach. It gives me a kind of courage. A fake courage.

Theo is making his way out of the cubicle when I walk in and he stills and slowly claspes his belt buckle back together. I remember what it feels like to remove his belt and I put my hand on the sink next to me so I dont wobble. How much have I had to drink? Four or Five? He ignores my stares and make his way to the sink, turning on the tap.

 _Cormac?_ I ask through a tipsy haze. He ignores me and carries on washing his hands. _Are you on a date?_ I might have yelled. _Not that it is any of your concern - but yes._ He doesn't look at me, only tuns to grab a paper towel to his right. _What about us?_ I sound pathetic and I hate myself today for it. _What us?_ He yelled this time. I'd pissed him off. He tries to move round me to the door but I stand in the way like a fucking child. I want him to be angry at me. Maybe then he can acknowlegde me properly.

 _Why haven't you written back to me?_

 _Why do you think! You don't want what I want_.

 _I want you_.

 _Really?_ He is in my face he is angry. _Are you ready to tell everyone that? Are you ready to tell all your friends exactly what you want?_ I didn't know what to say. I just know I liked how close he was to me. So I tried to kiss him, placing my hand on his cheek and stepping into him. He pushed me away immediately but his hands stayed on my chest until he backed me into the wall. _You're pathetic!_ He yelled as he stepped away.

 _Theo, please. I miss you._ I know I am begging and I know I must have looked like a pathetic mess. He saw that and he took advantage. _How about I go and have a little word with Potter? Tell him all the times when you told him you were too busy to see him, you were actually with me. Or how about I go find Granger and tell her that you couldn't keep your dick hard enough to fuck her because all you wanted to do was fuck me?_

I can feel tears in my eyes and I try to take a few deep breaths. I shake my head furiously. They would both hate me. I had been lying to them for six months. I feel like I betrayed them. I wasn't there for Harry when things were going bad with Ginny. I couldn't just be open with Hermione and tell her that I had met someone else.

He straightened his jacket and checked his reflection in the mirror. _I will not be your fucking secret. Do you understand me?_ He whispers as he walks past me and I have to swallow back the bile that forces its way up my throat.

When I finally pulled myself together and head back to Harry, Theo and Cormac have already left the bar and I can't bear to think about where they have gone or what they are doing. I Owl'ed him as soon as I woke up this morning. I apologised but I couldn't bring myself to say anything else.

I haven't had a response.

* * *

 ** _Pansy Parkinson_**

 ** _February 26th_**

 _So?_

 _So what?_

 _What happened last night?_

He takes a while to respond. I have to give him time. He isn't used to being up this early but he's just got in and I'm getting myself ready for work. He makes a coffee before he begins. They didn't have sex he tells me straight off and I wonder for a second if he's telling the truth but then I see it in his eyes. _We talked_ he says. _And?_ I push. _And, we kissed._

 _Is that it?_ I asked, knowing that with Theo, things never tend to take a slow pace. _Of course it wasn't._ I smile excitedly waiting for all the details. _We went a couple of bars, had a few drinks. We seemed to talk for hours, no awkward quiet moments. He's pretty funny, if a bit too sure of himself._

 _Is that a bad thing?_ I ask. _No, not really. He knows what he wants I guess. Anyway we'd both had quite a few drinks and he was being very flirty so we Apparated back to his. He pounced on me. Pushed me against his apartment door and kissed me and it was... so hot._ He smiles widely into his coffee before he takes a large sip. I can see that he is genuinely excited and I'm so happy for him. The past few months have been really shitty for Theo what with everything going on with Ron. He deserves a bit of happiness.

 _He made me a drink and we stood chatting in his kitchen, all the while getting closer and closer until he kissed me again. Then he took me into his living room and lets say things got a bit... heated. He started rubbing my dick through my trousers. It was like being a teenager again and fumbling around!_ I laughed loudly at him and he laughed with me and then stared off into the room, as if in deep thought. _He gave me a hand_ _job on his sofa._

 _Was it good?_ I ask, because we're best friends and I need to know and I haven't had sex in five months.

Ve _ry good. It's like he knew exactly what I like. Biting my lip and whispering naughty things in my ear._

I burst out laughing. I can't help it. Theo is smiling and it is the first time in a long time that I have seen a proper smile on his face and I've missed it. He looks at me in the same way.

 _I saw Ron._ His smile fades and he places his cup on the kitchen side. _He was at the Leaky with Potter._ My smile fades.

 _Was it okay?_ Because I don't want to talk about Harry right now. _No_. He responds. _Are you going to be okay?_ I ask. _Yes_. He replies and I believe him. I leave to finish getting ready.

I think of Harry as I pick out my outfit, even though we have barely spent two minutes in eachother presence since our encounter last week. When he sees me I want to look my best. To make myself feel better and I suppose to taunt him, to entice him. It's pathetic. That even after last week, even after the kiss he still doesn't want me yet I keep fawning over him. Making an effort, for him. Wanting him. Still.

I hate myself for it.

Theo walks into my room as I am deciding between two outfits and I ask for his opinion. _You will knock him dead in_ _either._ He knows me so well. I select the grey skirt, white blouse combination and a pair of black sandals.

 _I_ _'m sorry._ He catches me off guard. I lay my outifit on the bed. He looks upset. _Don't apologise. You were right._ He nods. _I might be right but it wasn't fair._ I nod too. He walks towards me and pulls me into a hug and I grip him tightly. _Nothing_ _is fair_ I whisper into his shirt.

 _No it isn't but we can't just wait around for them. If they wanted us they would come get us._

It cuts and I can feel it stinging. It's harsh but it is the most true words said in a long time to me. If he wanted me he would come for me. And he hasn't, which means he doesn't.

I wear the grey skirt and white blouse anyway. For me this time, not for him. At least that is what I tell myself.

* * *

 ** _Harry Potter_**

 ** _February 28th_**

 _Do you need anything before I leave?_

It had been the first words she had said to me since last week. Was it an olive branch? I don't know - but i jumped on it. _Could you double check the schedule for next week?_ She looked towards the Auror schedule up on the wall without a second glance to me. _It's fine. I double checked it earlier._ She said and she turned as if to leave the office. _Wait_ \- I was really clutching at straws now - _Why are Dainton and Wickes on Night Watch together?_

She turned round to me and crossed her arms over her chest. _Turner, James and Portis are all on annual leave which leaves Howarth, Graves, Michaels and Filbus to pick up the day shift._

 _What about Lee?_

 _He's working with Thomas on the Hampshire issue._

 _Why can't we switch Dainton with Burgess?_

 _Burgess is on sick leave._

 _Can we switch Malfoy or Granger?_

 _They have their hands full with the Warrington case. They have a fresh lead._

She doesn't look at me once. She looks at my feet, at the wall, at the floor. Anywhere but me. She may be ignoring me but her organisational skills are impecable. How would I ever do this without her?

 _Pansy..._ I begin but I don't finish. I don't know what to say to her and she knows it too. She leaves my office without another word.

I stand there for a few seconds before my brain kicks in and I walk out of my office and halt at her desk just as she is pulling on her coat. I haven't been this close to her in days and I can smell her perfume. I can sometimes smell it on me when I get home at night. _Was there something else?_ Her face is devoid of any emotion. When I don't say anything after a few seconds she turns and reaches for her bag and I finally get the courage to say it. _I'm sorry._

For the first time in a week she actually looks at me and I don't know if I am happy that she has. _What exactly are you sorry for?_ She whispers, looking around the office before her brown eyes land back on me.

 _I'm sorry about last week. I crossed the line. It was wrong of me to... to do that._

 _It was wrong?_

 _It wasn't right._

I was right in saying that. It was wrong. I was with Ginny at the time. It was wrong of me. It was wrong of me for kissing Pansy but that didn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I wanted to tell her that. To tell her that I liked it. That it didn't feel wrong even though the circumstances made it wrong but I couldn't find the words and then before I knew it Dean Thomas was stood by her desk and Pansy turned to him and smiled. It was like taking a bludger to the stomach.

 _Are you ready?_ He said with a smile back to her and she nodded her head and moved around me, brushing her arm against mine as she joined him and they walked together out of the office. I watched them until they disappeared and I saw Dean's hand rest of the bottom of her back as he guided her through the exit and I felt another bludger. This time to my chest.

 _Potter!_ It was Draco walking towards me with Hermione at his side. _We need approval to go see Cassius Warrington again. We need to talk to him, see if he knows who TD is._ I really don't want to approve this. He was a mess last time I saw him. _He's just lost his wife - can't you find another way?_

 _W_ e've _searched everywhere._ Hermione says with an exhausted huff _. No connection other that Tracey Davis and she has an alibi for the night Millicent was murdered - albeit an unusual one but she has one._

 _What was her alibi?_

 _Fucking Marcus Flint._ Draco has never been on to mix his words. I can see Hermione silently cringing beside him.

 _Marcus Flint? The_ guy wasn't exactly the type of man to pull someone like Tracey Davis but then again you hear stories about the intricate relationship these pureblood types have and it's enough to put you off relationships for life.

 _Yeah I know. What a troll._ I shake my head at Draco and walk back into my office. Hermione follows me and Draco stands by the door. _It really is our last option. I promise I will keep him in line._ She nods her head towards Draco and he holds up his middle finger to her. She gives him a sickly sweet smile before turning back to me. I have no other option. _Fine._ I say, then turn back to the increasing pile of paperwork sat on my desk.

I barely do any work over the next few hour. I am too preoccupied wondering if Dean and Pansy were just walking out together. Or if they were going on a date. Or if they are in fact in a relationship together, or if it is just sex? I try to block out the images that flash across my mind of the two of them but it doesn't work. It's gone nine and I won't get anymore work done because every time I look at my desk I imagine them having sex on it.

I Owl Ron to meet me for a drink and he replies within minutes.

 _Leaky at 9.30_

* * *

 **A/N: Please let me know what you think of Part 2!**

 **Review and Favourite and Follow so I know people out there are enjoying it :)**

 **Elle x**


	5. Part 3

**Part 3**

 **Hermione, Ginny, Blaise, Pansy.**

* * *

 **Hermione Granger**

 **March 2nd**

 _7pm and wear something slutty! Gx_

I swear under my breath Ginny's note. Something along the lines of 'For fucks sake' and obviously his ears prick and he looks over at me with wide eyes.

 _Did you just swear?_ He asks and I grit my teeth and shake my head. _No._ Fuck.

 _Yes it was. You just swore._ He had this big smile on his face and it made the corner of my lip twitch. _I didn't, I said... For forks sake - like, I forgot my fork._

 _You said fuck! You owe me a drink!_

 _I didn't swear! And I'm not buying you a drink!_ I grab a new piece of parchment and began to write my response to Ginny. _You know the rules! A swear word out of your mouth is rare and so is you buying me a drink._ He says and I can't help but smirk at him. _It's was Ginny._ I tell him. _We're supposed to be going out tonight but i feel like she's going to be a handful._

 _Why?_ He asks but I feel like I've already told him too much and I shake my head. _Come on._ He presses. _You can tell me. I wont tell anyone._ I trust him. He's one of the most trustworthy people I have ever known. It's part of the reason I feel the way I do about him.

 _It's only been a couple of weeks since her breakup with Harry and she's been a bit... I don't know... wacky?_ His face was a picture his nos wrinkled in disgust of such a muggle word. _Wacky?_ He copied.

 _They were together for six years,_ I said, _So I think she's just trying to... get to know herself._ He cocked his eyebrow and smirked. _You mean she's fucking around?_

 _Draco, don't say things like that!_

 _Because it's true or because it makes you blush?_

I could feel the warmth spread through my cheeks so I stood up and walked towards the bookcase searching absently to try to keep my mind from straying to thoughts of him fucking me on the desk.

 _Well good on her. She obviously needs a bit of fun after Potter._ I snapped my head back to him. _Harry is fun!_ I cried out to my friends defence. He laughed silently at me. _I think you have a warped idea of fun,_ he said.

 _No i don't! I'm just more conventional in my... approach._

 _What is your approach?_

 _None of your business._

 _Imagine I'm someone you like. What would you do?_

 _I'm not doing this._

 _Come on! Amuse me!_ He stood up from his desk and moved towards me.

 _No way._

 _Why? You scared?_

 _I'm not scared of you._ I managed to stutter as he stopped just behind me

 _Go on then. Woo me._

 _Woo you?_

 _Yes woo me._ He spun me round and grabbed the book from my hand.

 _I wouldn't woo you. I don't woo people_. I stepped away from him and backed myself into the bookcase behind me.

 _You prefer to be woo'd?_ He asked closing the distance with a smirk on his face.

 _I prefer to... I'm conventional._ I said quietly. He lent into me and replaced the book onto the shelf but kept his hand on the wood, leaning over me.

 _Nothing about you is conventional,_ he whispered. I could feel his breath tickle my nose. _What does that mean?_ I asked to his chest, only just relaising how close he was to me. I looked up into his eyes.

They are such an unusual colour that can only really be appreciated when up close. Grey. Not a dark grey but really very light, like the morning rays of sun that streak through the slit in my curtains. Not quite silver although they do seem to shine the closer I get to them.

 _It_ _means that you think you are ordinary,_ he replied. I felt lightheaded. My hands moved for the shelf behind me and I gripped it to keep myself steady. Then he looked down at my lips, tracing his own lips with the tip of his tongue. _But y_ _ou are_ _anything but ordinary._ I felt as thought I were on a roller coaster the amount of time my stomach flipped. I couldn't move. _You are.._

 _Don't..._ I whispered. I tried desperately to get my brain to restart itself but my focus was solely on his lips. I felt him shift, then his fingers tickled the material of my shirt until his hand pressed against my waist. I couldn't help the shiver that ran through me. I could see him closing the gap between us, bending his head and closing his eyes and my heart leapt. Then everything seemed to crash around me. The fear set in. The uncertainty. Everything seemed to consume me and I struggled to fill my lungs.

I shuffled from his grasp, spun away from him and walked with purpose towards my desk. _I think I'll go to lunch. Do you want me to pick you up something?_ I said as calmly as I could.

 _Hermione._ He called my name so softly it made my chest ache. I could hear his footsteps behind me, coming closer and I couldn't bear to be near him. So I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

He must have known what I would do because there he was standing in front of the door as I reached for the handle. I took a step back and looked at him. Mustering all the courage I could.

 _We need to talk about this._

 _Talk about what?_ I feigned innocence.

He did nothing. Just looked over at me. I had worked with him for so many years, thinking I had finally grasped who he was and how he thought. Yet right at this moment I had no idea what he was thinking.

I had learnt over the years not to put anything on what people said. For me it had always been actions that counted. The actions of others spoke volumes to me in a way that words never could which I have always found strange as I've always been pragmatic. Words have been my source of comfort over the years in trying to understand people but with him it was what he did that always meant so much more.

So I waited. I waited for him to do something yet the seconds ticked by and nothing. I felt like I was sinking where I stood. That whatever had conspired between us a minute ago had been nothing and that everything that had happened should be forgotten.

He lifted his hand in the air, to the space in front of the door leaving my exit clear.

So I took it. I walked towards the door, yanked it open and left the room without another word to him. He didn't stop me from leaving. He didn't do anything which means that this was yet another moment in our extensive and hideous history that needed to be forgotten.

* * *

 **Ginny Weasley**

 **March 2nd**

 _I don't know what it is. He's just..._

Hermione looked at me. Concern spread all over her face. _Don't look at me like that_ I urged and she shook her head. _I just don't want you to rush into anything_ she said taking a sip of her wine. _Luna ruined any chance of that happening._ I said draining my glass and ushering to the waitress to bring us another round of drinks.

 _Why on earth were you doing THAT in the changing room in the first place!_ Hermione exclaimed. I couldn't help but laugh at her expression. Her cheeks had gone a lovely pink shade and she couldn't look at me. _Look! I got caught up in the moment okay. My sex drive is insatiable!_ She budged me on the arm and giggled, covering her face with her hands.

 _What about you?_ I asked. She immediately shook her head. _You know I don't have time for any of that._ I raised my eyebrow at her. _Really?_ I asked incredulously. _When was the last time you saw my brother?_

She went bright red. _Ginny, your brother and I.. we... it's nothing like that.. it's just every now and then we... need someone._ I raised my hand in front of her face to stop her from going any further. _I really don't want to hear about my brothers' sex life._ Hermione laughed. _I think he's seeing someone anyway._

I nodded, agreeing with her. He practically bit my head off when I asked him about it last week and told Hermione just that.

 _That sounds like Ron_. She said rolling her eyes. She took another sip of her wine. _Maybe he doesn't want anyone to know. Maybe it's someone we don't like?_ I shrugged my shoulders. _Maybe._

That's when I saw him walk into the bar. _Shit Hermione, He's here!_ I turned my face away from him, looking over Hermione's shoulder. _Did you tell him you were coming?_ She asked me. _No! I've only ever spoken to him once._ She laughed at me. _You're acting like a school girl with a crush Ginny he's just a normal guy - oh dear, he's coming over. Ginny, just act normal._

I was still looking over Hermione's shoulder when I saw her look up and smile. _Hi Blaise._ His deep voice responded, sending ripples of warmth through my chest. _Granger. Nice to see you - And you, Weasley._ Well I couldn't exactly ignore him now. I turned to him and smiled. _Hi._ Hermione shifted uncomfortably next to me and tried to ease the awkwardness. _So... are you having a good night?_

He looked around the bar and nodded waving someone over from the corner of the room. _I wasn't however now I feel the evening is looking up. Can I buy you both a drink?_ His eyes landed on me and he smiled. I smiled back as Hermione spoke once more. _We've actually just ordered but you're welcome to join us if you like?_ I turned towards Hermione and nudged her in the chest.

 _I'd love to. Ah - here's Draco too. Don't mind if he joins either do you?_ He smirked at Hermione and she looked to the right, just in time to see Draco arrive at the table. He nodded to her and she replied with a nod back to him. It felt just as awkward as my interaction with Blaise and I made a note to bring it up with her later on that night. Draco sat himself down next to Hermione and I shuffled round to allow Blaise to sit next to me. He threaded his hand round the back of my chair and it took everything I had not to look at him.

After a few moments of awkward silence and smiles between the four of us, Hermione's eyebrows furrowed. _Draco, look._ She nodded towards the other side of the bar. Blaise and I also turned our heads as a recognisable dark haired women arm in arm with a tall, sad looking man walked into the bar. _Isn't that Cassius Warrington?_ I asked Hermione as the woman lead Cassius to a table in the darkest corner of the bar. _And Tracey Davis._ Blaise confirmed, looking over at Draco.

 _He looks like shit._ Draco said. _Tracey on the other hand looks pleased as punch._ Hermione commented as we watched the women flamboyantly beckon a waiter over to their table.

 _She said she hadn't seen Millicent in years but here she is fawning over her Widow?_ Hermione turned to Draco. _When is our meeting with Cassius?_

 _Wednesday_.He confirmed and Hermione nodded. _Do you think Harry would sign off on a Auror to tail her over the weekend?_ I looked over at Hermione. _Do you think she has something to do with the case? I_ asked. Hermione and Draco looked at one another. _Let's go have a word with Potter._ Hermione nodded in agreement and they both stood up to leave.

 _Wait you're leaving now?_ Hermione placed her hand on mine. _Sorry Gin, this might be important._ Draco shook Blaise's hand. _You're in safe hands -_ He directed towards me - _We won't be long._

I watched as the two of them shuffled out of the booth and made their way out of the bar, avoiding Cassius and Tracey. Blaise turned to me and opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly.

 _They're not coming back are they?_ I asked him after a few seconds. He shook his head. _If I know them, they'll be in the office for the rest of the night._ He turned to look at me and rubbed his chin. _Look.. while we're alone... I'm sorry. The other day... I should have shut the door... I... It was rude._ I shook my head and tried to hude the blush creeping into my cheeks. _It was my fault.. we should have.. shouldn't have been so open. It's not for you to apologise._

I took a deep breath. _I should actually be apologising to you... Luna, at your restaurant... she tends to speak before she thinks._ He laughed. _That she does._ He said smiling, looking down at my lips. He is ridiculously good looking. Tall, muscular, dark skinned and his lips look plump and soft.

 _Are you and Luna together?_ He asked me and I shook my head quickly. _No... we're just friends._ He raised his eyebrows. _Friends that... do that?_ He questioned. I didn't know what to say. He wouldn't understand.

 _We are not together. We just... spend time together._

 _Friends with benefits?_

 _If you want to put a label on it..._

 _But you're single?_ He asked as I felt his thumb stroke along my shoulder.

 _Yes. I'm single._ I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him more than I've wanted to kiss anyone in a long time but not here. Not tonight. Not with half of the Wizarding World looking at us. I've tried to keep mine and Harry's breakup out of the papers as much as I could and the last thing we both need is a picture of me kissing someone else plastered in every living room by tomorrow morning.

 _I should get going._ I said as I watched him nod slowly and move from the table. _Where is home?_ He asked. _I've just got a place down the road._ I said and he held out his hand and helped me out of the booth.

It must have been a mixture of the wine and standing up but I seemed to sway towards him and I placed my hand on his chest to stop myself from tripping. _I_ _'ve got my trial with the Harpies next week and I could really use a training partner, if you're up for it?_ I said, silently hoping he would say yes. Another opportunity, another chance.

 _Sure._ He said quickly. _How about tomorrow?_

* * *

 ** _Blaise Zabini_**

 ** _March 3rd_**

We met at six tonight and I set her straight to work doing sprints back and forth across the pitch, then weave drills, then catch drills. I thought maybe I was pushing her too hard but every time I told her to take a break she said no. I could see just how much she wanted this. So we kept going. I saw the sparkle in her eyes, just like every time I had seen her at the training ground before. Flying makes her uninhibited. She seemed to let go and I couldn't take my eyes off her as she caught every Quaffle I sent her way.

An hour and a half later, after I could see her exhaustion setting in, I called time on the training and we landed back on the grass. Her face was rosy, her hair was tied up but strands had become unpinned and were falling around her face. She walked ahead of me, getting her breath back but I managed to step in front of her, holding open the door to the changing rooms for her to step inside.

She placed her broom on the bench and I sat next to it, taking off my boots and pulling my jumper over my head. I placed it on the bench next to me but caught her looking at me before she looked away. She folded up her robes and placed them on top of her broom. _The last time we were in here... was under very different circumstances._ She said flashing me a smile and sitting down on the bench to untie her laces. I couldn't help the smirk that ran across my face or the flash of her post-orgasm glow running through my mind.

 _I_ _almost feel bad -_ I began - _that I saw so much of something so personal._ She bit at her bottom lip. _What do you mean?_

I stood up; somewhat confidently; facing her and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt pulling it over my head. I let it fall on top of my jumper, not bothering to fold it up.

 _What are you doing?_ She asked, as her eyes roamed over my chest. I didn't even know what I was doing. I just wanted to see what she would do. She looked around the changing room as if expecting someone to walk in, then he eyes fell back on me. _I'm just making things even between us._ I said with a smile, my fingers finding the strings of my tracksuit bottoms and pushing them down my legs. I stepped out of them and looked at her again.

 _You don't... you don't have to do this._ She said in a whisper. _What? You don't like what you see?_ I couldn't help the flirtatious tone in my voice. She liked it. I could tell. A flush ran up her neck and she shook her head. _No, I mean.. yes but..._ She couldn't take her eyes off me.

 _Even Stevens right?_ I said as I grabbed my towel from my bag. I smiled at her before I headed for the shower cubicles, leaving her to watch me walk away. Fuck, it felt good and I found myself smiling like an idiot.

I turned on the shower and closed the glass door behind me, taking off my boxer shorts and dropping them to the floor, letting the water wash over me. A minute or so later, I heard the cubicle door next to mine open and close, then the sound of running water after she turned on the tap.

The best thing about the showers is the frosted glass separating one from the other. You could see a body moving but not necessarily their full form. She could have picked a shower far away from mine. But she chose the one right next door. She liked it. The flirting, the games. It excited her just as it did me.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as she stepped under the water, her long hair falling down her back, running her hands over her body. It's not like I was acting peverse. She chose the shower next to mine which means she did it for a reason.

 _It's not quite even._ I heard her say after maybe a minute. _How do I make it even?_ I responded back, watching her form as she stepped closer to the glass.

 _You saw me come... so I guess... I get to watch you come._ Yes. She liked every part of this. She was beautiful and intelligent and naughty in a one perfect package.

 _There's no one here to do it for me like there was for you._ She placed her hand on the glass partition. I could see the outline of her body. Getting a better view of her curves as she stepped closer. I gripped my semi hard dick in my hand and placed my other hand on the glass in the same position as hers so she could see enough of me, just as I could her. _Well then, you'll just have to do it yourself._

I began to move my hand up and down my dick. I could see her through the glass, watching the strokes of my hand. She kept one hand pressed on the glass against mine but the other moved over her stomach. I watched as she stroked her hand over her skin slowly until she reached her breast. _Fuck._ I said loudly, gripping my dick tighter. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

 _Y_ _ou like watching me?_ She whispered through the glass, circling her nipple with her fingertips. _Yes._ I said, entranced as she moved her hand down her chest, across her stomach until it delved between her legs. She moaned deliciously and I felt a twinge behind my navel.

 _Do you like watching me?_ I asked through heavy breaths. _Yes._ She whispered back. I could see the outline of her hand rubbing away.

 _What are you thinking about?_ I called through the glass. _You... you're hands on my body. You're hands doing this to me._ I moved my hand faster along my dick. That's what I imagined. I imagined it was me touching her, my hand working between her legs.

 _I want your hand on my dick._ I said, her moans ringing in my ears and my eyes focussed solely on her body. _I want to know what your lips feel like against mine. I want to touch you, kiss you, feel what you feel like._ She moaned louder, panting and digging her fingernails into the glass and I could feel the knot tightening in my stomach.

 _I want to make you come. I want to make you come with my fingers, with my lips on you and with my dick inside you._ I watched her start to shake and when she moaned _I'm coming!_ It pushed me over the edge. I felt the warmth starting at my fingers tips, rushing through my arms and across my chest as euphoria took over me. I heard her coming through the glass and it was pure bliss listening to her cries.

I rested both my hands on the glass until the dizziness passed, and took a few deep breaths to try and clear my head. I heard a door open and close and when I looked up, I couldn't see her through the glass. I stood up straight, my legs like jelly and flicked the shower to off. I reached for my towel and wrapped it around my waist before I opened the cubicle and made my way into the changing room.

She was already dressed, most probably having cast a drying charm to save time. She didn't look at me as she grabbed for her broom and headed for the exit.

 _Wait!_ I called out but she had already opened the door and I hear the Crack of Apparition before I even had time to think about going after her.

* * *

 **Pansy Parkinson**

 **March 4th**

I went out with Dean again today. The first, second date for me in a long time. Six months at least.

He's nice. He's tall which I always seem to like, deep brown eyes and when he smiles it takes up most of his face, crinkling his eyes. I laugh a lot at his jokes. He's quite funny but very flirty with it.

We met for lunch in Muggle London before he offered to walk me home. When we arrived at my door, I asked if he would like to come in for a coffee and he said, _Y_ _es_. It's was only four in the afternoon. I would have rather have been left to spend the afternoon on my own but I remembered what Theo said to me last week. That I needed to move on. That I needed to _fuck_ someone else and try to move on

After a quick tour around the flat, I guided him into the kitchen where I set the kettle to boil and pulled two cups down from the cupboard. As I was spooning the coffee into our cups I could feel Dean mover closer to me. His hand covered mone, took the spoon from my hand and placed it on the kitchen side. As I turned to him I saw his large brown eyes looking at my lips. Then he bent his head and pressed his lips to mine.

It was nice.

It was different.

I kissed him back, closing my eyes. It was soft initially, his lips pressed to mine and his hand stroking the back of my hand. I have to admit that I opened my eyes to watch him. I know it's weird but it's been so long since I've thought about kissing anyone else that right then, when I was actually doing it... it didn't feel like me. I nearly stopped the kiss then.

That was until he hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me into him, teasing my lips with his tongue. I opened my lips and tickled my tongue against his. It was so different to Harry. There I was, in the arms of another man. Someone that asked me out on a date, someone that wanted to spend time with me and kiss me and all I could think about was Harry.

I carried on kissing Dean. I let him put his hands on my waist and in my hair until he was pushing me back into the kitchen side. Pressing himself into me.

He gripped my bottom, lifting me onto the kitchen side and I opened my legs for him, his crotch pushing into mine. His lips left mine and he flicked the hair off my neck before placing kisses and nibbles along my skin. I could have fucked him If I wanted to. I could have fucked him in the kitchen, or taken his hand and lead him to my bedroom and at that moment I was going to. I was going to do all that.

Then I heard a noise come from Theo's room. Dean didn't hear it. He carried on kissing my neck, pulling my shirt from my skirt to place his hands on my skin. I tried to ignore the noises, running my hands down Dean's arms and across his chest, starting to unbutton his shirt.

 _That's it._ Cormac's moans could be heard through the walls. _Oh Fucking hell._ Dean heard it too and his fingers stilled on the skin of my stomach. _Yeah, oh yeah, keep going._ I couldn't help but giggle. Theo had obviously forgotten to place a silencing charm on his room and Dean and I could hear every moan, every bang and every expletive coming from Cormac's mouth.

Dean began laughing too and it made me laugh even more. He rested his head on my shoulder and I stroked my hands down his arms until our laughs subsided.

He lifted his head. _Moments gone?_ He asked smiling at me and I nodded my head. I'd gotten so caught up in the moment. Not that I didn't enjoy it but I knew that if I had taken it any further I would have regretted it. I don't just sleep with men on the second date. I usually don't even kiss them until the third or fourth date.

 _Not that I wouldn't..._ He began to say. I hopped down from the side. _I know._ I said tucking my hair behind my ear. _I best be going_ Dean said. He stepped forward and cupped my face in his hands, kissing me again. It felt all wrong. He was lovely he really was but... I don't know.

Luckily Cormac started up again. _Oh yeah, oh fuck, right there!_

Dean groaned into my lips before pulling back. He let go of my face. _I'll see you tomorrow at work?_ He questioned and I nodded, unable to say anything else.

When I shut the door on Dean I breathed a sigh of relief. I could still hear Theo and Cormac; something that I assumed would be going on for some time; so I decided to take a long bath to try and clear my head - with the addition of a silencing charm on the bathroom.

I make a confident decision as I let the water wash over me. That I will call things off with Dean. I enjoyed the dates and the kiss and I'm sure sex with him would be just as enjoyable... but he's just not for me. I don't see a future with him. And I suppose until I move on from Harry, I shouldn't date anyone else. It just wouldn't be fair.

To him or to me.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hope you like the update! Please follow, like and review to let me know if you're enjoying the story and the pairings! Thank you so much for the likes and reviews so far... you guys are awesome.**

 **Theo, Ron, Draco and Harry will appear in part two... hopefully which will be uploaded within the week!**

 **Elle x**


	6. Part 3 Continued

**Part 3 Continued**

* * *

 **T** **heodore Nott**

 **March 6th**

I woke up with Cormac next to me and I smiled when I saw him. I know. It's disgusting.

We've seen a lot of each other these past few weeks and it's difficult to put into words exactly what it is that keeps me interested. He's the opposite of Ron. He wants to go out with me – actively asked me out on our first date and we have been out four times in a week and a half. With Ron it was always behind closed doors. His place or mine. I hated it.

The one and only time we went out for dinner he took me to the smallest pub in the world, deep in Muggle London. There were only six tables, full of Muggle men watching Muggle sport on a screen mounted to the wall. It was so loud that we could barely hear one another and the food tasted like warmed up parchment. I didn't hide my displeasure very well but by that point I had been disappointed so many times that it was actually not that much of a surprise to me.

That was the start of the end. The end of something that never really started. I fell so fucking hard for him it really caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting it. We used to be friends. We used to meet up for drinks after work and talk and laugh, finding commonality over a joke shared at Draco's birthday party last year that just seemed to light a spark between us. When there was a slight inclination there was anything else there... it just became hard work.

Cormac is easy. He was happy to do whatever – to go with the flow. Eat out, a few drinks, a film, stay in.

I'll do whatever as long as you come with me.

He takes my hand and leads me into bars and we find a seat wherever because it doesn't fucking matter where we sit to him. None of it matters. You don't know how refreshing that is.

That's what made me smile this morning. I shuffled over to him on the bed, rested one arm on my pillow and wrapped the other around his waist. He stirred and shuffled back into me, saying something I didn't catch in a sleepy slow murmur. I traced my fingers over his chest, over his pectorals, around his nipples teasing them with my fingertips.

I traced his breastbone down to his stomach and felt his torso contract beneath my touch. He's got a great body. All muscled and tight and olive skinned. Unlike my ex. He shuffled against me, his arse rubbing against my boxer shorts covering my semi-hard dick. He lent his body against mine so he was resting back on me, giving me easier access.

My fingers teased lower until I felt the rough stubble. It makes it look bigger – he told me just before I went down on him last week. It was true. When fully erect, it looked huge and extremely inviting.

My fingers stroked along his dick and I felt it twitch as I cupped his balls in my hand, slowly massaging them whilst placing light kisses against the top of his shoulders and his neck. He moaned a my name in a sleepy drawn out way as I finally took a hold of his dick.

I was soft at first, my hand sliding up and down him slowly and gently. He was fully awake now and moaning constantly. He lifted the cover slightly and watched my hand move up and down. I watched his face - mouth parted, heavy breaths and flushed face.

When I gripped him tighter and started to pump his dick faster, he shut his eyes tightly, grabbed my thigh and dug his fingers into my skin. _Fuck._ He said in a whisper as I pushed my thumb over the tip of his dick and smeared his pre come over the head and along the shaft.

He turned his head slightly towards me. I reached over him and kissed him lightly on his lips. His eyes opened, looking up at me. His hand left my thigh and he threaded his fingers in my hair, pulling me back down for another kiss – this time deeper and longer. His tongue was warm in my mouth and his moans vibrated against my lips.

He pulled back for a breath, and threw his head back onto the pillow, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and repeatedly whispering _yes, yes, yes_. His noises became more erratic and he began to thrust his hips in time with my hand until he was reeling off a stream of expletives and incoherent words.

 _Fuckyestheorightthereohshitfuckinghellimgoingtocomeyesyesyesohfuckyesohfuckimcomingimcomingimcomong_

I waited until his breathing had calmed down, kissed the skin of his shoulders and slunk off the bed towards the bathroom. I was in the shower less than 2 minutes before I felt him step in behind me and wrap his arms around my me. His hand made its way to my dick and he rubbed it softly.

 _You left._ He whispered in my ear, nibbling at my ear lobe. _You don't have to repay me._ I said back to him as I rested my head on his shoulder. _I want to do this._ He said in a whisper, feeling my dick hard in his hand. He turned me around and kissed me before he dropped to his knees, the water from the shower flattening his hair over his forehead.

I pushed his hair out of his eyes as he ran his tongue along my dick. It twitched against his lips. I watched him as he stuck out his tongue and licked the head of my dick. It twitched up to his nose and when he smirked up at me it sent warmth pooling into my stomach.

When he put his lips around the head of my dick, I leant back against the cold tiles of the shower and closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the water warming my skin and his mouth on my dick. I threaded my hand in his hair and guided his mouth along my shaft. He took me deep, right to the back of his throat until he was nearly choking. It was fucking hot. Then he used his hand to pump my dick, faster and faster while he sucked and licked the end like a sweet.

When I could feel the knot in my stomach tightening I placed one hand under his chin and one on top of his head. He braced his hands on my thighs, his eyes looking up at me as I thrust my hips, pumping my dick into his mouth and finally coming with a moan into his mouth.

He kissed my back and shoulders until I could stand properly and then we took turns under the shower, washing ourselves. I nearly grabbed him and fucked him against the shower wall as I watched his hands roam over his body but I was already running late for a meeting with a potential supplier, so I put the thought to the back of my mind for later.

We were finishing off our coffee in the kitchen when Ron's Owl starting tapping away at the window.

My breath used to hitch in my throat when Errol used to turn up because it usually meant Ron wanted to come over. Back then I would have done anything to spend time with him. I would race to the window and write an immediate reply. Now, I took my time.

I opened the window, untied the scroll from his leg, nuzzling the top of Errol's head before I sent him on his way.

 _Dinner. Tomorrow. My place. Please come. I can do it. I can do it all. Ron._

I'm not sure how long I stood reading and re-reading his note. He can do it all. That's what he wrote. He can do it all. All or nothing I said to him that night. When I knew he would never be able to give me what I wanted. The end. He didn't say anything. So I left. That was more than two months ago.

 _Are you alright?_ Cormac said and my head snapped up to see him draining the last of his coffee from his cup.

 _Yeah, fine._ I said and I shoved the note into the back pocket of my trousers.

 _So, tomorrow? I was thinking we could try your friends restaurant?_ Cormac said, placing his cup next to sink and stepping towards me. I placed my hand on his chest. _Maybe... I might have to do something._

 _Might?_ He questioned with a cheeky smile and a kiss to my lips. _I'll Owl you_. I said mutely. _Is everything okay?_ He said, his eyebrows knitted and watching me closer now. He looked worried, so I looked at him earnestly.

 _It's just business. I'll Owl you tomorrow once I know what I'm doing._

Fucking Ron Weasley.

* * *

 **Ron Weasley**

 **March 7th**

He didn't Owl me back. I sent it yesterday morning and at seven tonight I was still waiting. My heart sunk. I turned off the stew I made and grabbed a beer from my fridge. I sat in front of the tele and began flicking aimlessly through the channels.

I skimmed through the entire channel list twice, looking for nothing in particular. I drank my beer and thought about every time I had fucked up with him. When I knew I was the reason for it all. For every argument we had, it was always me and my issues at the route cause. I got another beer and drank it while having a word with myself. I resolved myself to the fact that he was gone from my life for good.

I had fucked everything up. I cared about him so much and I absolutely ruined anything good that he ever gave me. I cared so much about him but never told him. He meant so much to me and I never had the balls to tell him that.

He just wanted us to be together and to be open about how he felt for me and I was too hung up on what people would think. About what my friends and family would think. It has taken me so long so to find the courage to say to myself that I don't care about what anyone else thinks. That I didn't care about anything but him.

That I could do it all as long as he was with me and that was gone now. I'd missed my chance.

I drained the last of my beer when my Floo rumbled to life. Theo stepped through the flames into my living room, flicking soot off his shoulders.

 _I thought you weren't coming._ I said sitting up on the sofa and watching him look all around the room but not at me. _I wasn't going to._ He said, walking out of the room and towards the kitchen. I followed him.

 _What's that?_ He asked pointing towards the stove and the lukewarm stew whilst opening my cupboards and pulling out a bottle of Fire Whiskey and a glass. _It's stew._ I said as he pulled the ice cube tray from the freezer and chucked a few cubes into the glass before pouring himself a large measure.

He swirled the glass, spilling some on his hand and on the side, then drained the glass in one. He poured himself another large measure then picked up the bottle and his glass and walked past me and into the living room.

I didn't follow him right away. I put the ice cube tray back into the freezer and mopped up the spilt Fire Whiskey on the kitchen side. He was angry I could tell and I didn't know what to do about it anymore. I always made him angry.

I grabbed another beer from the fridge, twisted the lid and threw it into the bin on my way into the living room, trying to keep myself as calm as possible. I didn't want this to turn into another argument.

 _What am I doing here?_ Theo said loudly as I walked into the room. _What do you want?_ He had his hand rested on the mantelpiece, looking out of the window at the orange and red sky outside. Not once had he looked at me. I wasn't surprised.

 _You said in your note that you could do it all._ He said quickly before I could even begin to say my piece. He always talks excessively when he's nervous. It made me feel a bit better. That I wasn't the only nervous one. _What does that mean?_ He questioned, taking a large sip of his drink. I walked over to him and placed my beer on the mantelpiece next to his hand. _I don't know why I'm even here. I don't know why I bothered._

 _I miss you._ I finally managed to say. He huffed and drained the Firewhiskey in his glass. _You miss me?_ He said in a snide voice, filling up his glass again. _Yes._ I said. _I miss you._ He looked at me and shook his head. _I've heard that before._ He said, moving across the room and taking a seat on my sofa. _This time it's different._ I urged. _I can't be without you anymore. I don't want to be without you anymore._

 _Why is it different this time?_ He spat at me. I picked up my bottle and walked over to the sofa and sat down next to him. He clenched the half full glass in his hand and stared dead ahead at the fireplace. _I told Ginny last night._ I told him. His ears pricked then and I saw his eyes flick my way. _I didn't name you but I told her how I feel about you._

 _Did you tell her I was a man?_ He asked in that snide voice again. _Yes._ I said. His face softened immediately. It looked like I was saying the right things. _I'm seeing Hermione and Harry for dinner on Friday and I'm going to tell them too. They are my friends and I know they will still be my friends._ I tried to stay as calm as possible when I'm pretty sure voice cracked at one point.

He polished off the remaining Firewhiskey in his glass and placed it on the floor by his feet then rested back against the sofa cushions. I took a deep breath. This was it. My chance.

 _I want you. I want a future with you. I want a life with you. He turned and looked at me. I'm telling them for me, not for you but if it means I have the slightest chance of winning you back, then I'd tell the whole world. I'd scream it down Diagon Alley if it meant something to you._

He chuckled. _That sounds rehearsed._ He said, his eyes still on me. _I did rehearse it. I wanted it to come out right. I want you know understand exactly what I'm trying to tell you..._ He put his hand on top of mine and the rest of the words were lost in my mind. They floated away as I stroked my thumb over his fingers. _I've been an idiot._ I said. _I fucked up.._

 _I pushed you._ He cut in. _I pushed you and I'm sorry. I was really fucking selfish._ He stroked my hand back and sniffed loudly. _I wanted all of you and I wanted it right away and I didn't think about you once. All I thought about was me. You were a fucking idiot, but so was I and... I'm sorry._

I couldn't take my eyes off him. It was the Theo I had gotten to know over the past six months. The fragile Theo, the emotional Theo. _I love you._ I took his hand properly in mine and intertwined our fingers. _Fuck, I love you._ I said again. He squeezed my hand back and raised his other hand to stroke his thumb down my cheek. I could see his eyes begin watering and he wiped the start of the tears away. I could feel everything warming up. My hands were shaking. I was so nervous but he wasn't pushing me away. _I love you._ He looked down at my lips. I wrapped my other arm round the back of the sofa and pulled him closer to me until my forehead was resting against his.

 _Theo..._ I began, but he placed a finger on my lips to stop me saying anything else. He stroked his finger slowly over my bottom lip. He opened his mouth to say something, then kissed me instead. I was shaking but my hand kept a hold of his tightly and I kissed him back. I remember that feeling of elation. That feeling that this is what had been missing from my life, filling a missing piece inside me and I never wanted to let it go again.

His free hand moved to the side of my face, pulling me closer as he deepened the kiss. He tickled his tongue against my lips so I opened my mouth and met his tongue with mine, tasting the remnants of the bitter Firewhiskey in his mouth.

This was where I was supposed to be. This was how it was all supposed to be. This is what it was all for. For him and for this and for us because fuck, he makes me fucking whole.

I pushed him further back into the sofa, deepening our kiss and he seemed to pull me into him, matching the frantic pace of my kisses. I wanted him, I wanted all of him and I wanted him now and it felt like he wanted me too.

All of a sudden Theo pushed me off him. It took me a few seconds to bring myself back into the room. I opened my eyes and followed his gaze. A white hazy horse was stamping its feet in the middle of my living room.

 _It's Draco. St. Mungos now. I'll be there soon._ The worried voice said.

Theo jumped to his feet as the horse galloped out of the room. _Shit! I've got to go._ He said, wiping at his eyes and looking around the room. I could see his hands had started to shake. I stood up and walked over to him. _Do you want me to come with you?_ He shook his head. _No._ He said as Harry's Stag patronus galloped into the room. We watched the wispy white stag prance around the room before we heard his voice.

 _Hermione's been injured. She's at St Mungos. I'll meet you there._

* * *

 **Harry Potter**

 **March 7th**

She walked into my office at seven thirty holding her jacket in her hand and her bag on her shoulder. _I'm leaving now. Do you need anything before I go?_ She said with a smile. She was dating Dean and she was smiling again and everything that happened between us was a fleeting memory she did not care about.

 _No. Nothing._ I said looking back down at the stack of paperwork on my desk.

 _Harry._ I thought she had left but she was still there but now she wasn't smiling. She stepped further into my office and pulled the door slightly.

 _I don't want anything to be awkward with us._ She said. I looked up at her and nodded. _I want to be your friend again._ She said, stepping a little closer to my desk.

Like another bludger the word _friends_ reverberated round the room, echoing in my ears so loudly it was hard to think about anything else. _Can we be friends?_ She said.

I missed her. I missed talking to her. I missed the way we used to be, before I stepped over the line and made everything between us awkward. Now here she was trying to make amends for my wrong doings.

Merlin, she was beautiful, standing over me and waiting for my answer I didn't want to just be her friend. I didn't want to. I wanted so much more but she was dating Dean. I had to respect that. If I couldn't have more I would have to settle for friends. I can't not have her in my life.

 _Friends._ I whispered. Nodding and trying to smile.

She smiled again and it got me right in the gut. _Goodnight._ She said. _Goodnight._ I replied, lowering my head and signing a piece of parchment.

I heard her heels on the floor clicking as she walked away from the office and I dropped my head to my hands. I rubbed her face out of my eyes, threw my quill on the desk and sat back in my chair. _Friends._ I repeated, just as I heard a yell from within the main office.

I stood up immediately from my desk and walked into the office where everyone was rushing around in a panic.

 _Davies - what's going on?_ I couldn't hear myself think over the noise.

 _Malfoy and Granger are in St Mungos. They were attacked outside Warrington's place. Granger sent her patronus._

 _Harry!_ It was Pansy. She rushed towards me from the other side of the office looking worried. _What do we do? Are they okay?_ She dropped her bag and her coat to the floor. _I don't know._ I said rubbing my forehead. The room was loud, everything felt hot. I couldn't think.

I felt her hand on my forearm and she squeezed lightly. _What do you need?_ She asked, taking off her heels. She looked worried but she kept calm and professional as ever. Draco was one of her best friends, just as Hermione was mine and when she looked at me I knew she wanted to run away and make sure they were okay, just like I did but I needed her here. With me.

 _Put a call out to all Aurors on leave. I want everyone here right now. I'll go with a group to Warrington's house and set up a cordon._ I said, before turning to the room.

 _Dainton! Take Michaels and Lee - Find Warrington. Keep him safe in the house._ He nodded and ran off.

 _You don't think it's him?_ Pansy said to me, walking barefoot round to her desk, pulling out her emergency lists from the drawers.

 _No I don't and neither did Malfoy or Granger. Get me forensics there now. And send Thomas to St Mungo's to keep watch just in case._

I sent my Stag patronus to Ron to tell him to go to Hermione because I knew I wouldn't be able to get there for hours. _Tell Blaise and Theo._ I told her because I knew she would want them to be there if she couldn't. She waved her wand and I saw her patronus out of the corner of my eye, all silver and flowing hair disappear from the room.

 _I'm going to Warrington's now. I want you to check the Muggle CCTV in the area. Check for any witnesses. Meet me there when you can._

She nodded and started whispering incantations into the charmed parchments as I walked across the room and pointed at three Aurors. _Come with me, now._

It was an hour before I heard from her. Her horse patronus lighting up the dark and rainy street where they were attacked.

 _Both alive. Just._

It gave me some peace in my mind. At least they were alive. It kept me going. Another half an hour whilst in Cassius Warrington's home I receive another update from her.

 _Cordon up at hospital. Dealing with the press._

Half an hour later she arrives and walks over to me. _Are you okay?_ She asks. I place my hand on her arm, so glad she is here. She calms my erractic mind but the word _friends_ keeps running through my mind as I look at her and wish I could grab her and kiss her - but Dainton and Michaels run into the room.

 _Adrian Pucey. It's as clear as day on the CCTV._

Pansy looks and me and covers her mouth in shock.

 _Find him, now! I want everyone out looking for him. I don't care if it takes all night - you find him_! I say to Michaels. _Dainton, stay here with Warrington in case he comes back. He might have killed Millicent too. He could be dangerous. As soon as you get a scent, let me know. I'll be at the hospital._

I looked over at Pansy and nodded. She started walking out of Cassius's home and I followed _I've set up an Apparition point at the hospital. Take my arm._ She says. I grab her arm and feel the pull of Apparition around my navel, the crushing blackness and then my feet hit the floor and she was pulling me along a bright hallway.

 _I don't care just let me into the room!_ I heard as we rounded the corner. _At least we know Granger is okay._ She said without a smile.

 _You need to calm down and get back to your room - you need to rest._ Said the healer trying to usher Hermione away. Blaise, Theo and Ron were standing around her trying to help the healer take her to another room.

 _Get your hands off me I am not leaving!_

 _Hermione!_ I called her name and she spun around. Her hair was wild, cuts on the left side of her face and her left arm in a sling.

 _Harry - They won't let me in the room!_

 _We have six healers in there working on him - no one goes in until we're happy that he is stable._ The healer said firmly.

 _Hermione you need to rest. Let me take you to your room._ I took her arm and tried to guide her back to her room but she was having none of it.

 _Get off me!_ She said slapping my hand away. _I'm not moving until I can go in that room, don't you understand! He's my..._ She tried to find the words but just opened and closed her mouth. _H_ _e's my partner._ She whispered.

I saw Pansy place her hand to her chest but no one else moved or said anything. We all knew. It was raw and broken and there for us to see. She turned back to the doors to Draco's room, staring at the healer who was not budging from his post.

Blaise looked at Theo, who looked at Ron, who looked at me. I in turn looked at Pansy. Pansy looked at Hermione and nodded to herself. She turned and walked away into a room off the hallway. Everything was silent until I heard the tap, tap of her shoes on the floor. Pansy walked back out of the room with a chair in her hands. She stopped next to Hermione and placed the chair down right next to the entrance to Draco's room.

 _Here._ She said to Hermione. _Sit and wait for him. I'll wait with you._ Hermione looked at the chair, then to me, then to Pansy. Eventually she nodded and sat down but turned her body to keep watch on the door. Blaise, Ron and Theo walked to the room to grab themselves a chair. I

I looked to Pansy and mouthed a silent _thank you._ Her ability to remain so calm and her endless empathy was just astonishing. Another reason her smile made my insides ache.

I felt a warmth burning in my pocket. It was my wand. They must have found Pucey.

 _Can you handle things here?_ I whispered to Pansy. _I've just been called. See if you can talk to her - find out what happened._

 _Yes - Go - Go now. I'll wait here until you get back._

 _Thank you._ I whispered. I wanted to say so much more. To tell her that I couldn't do any of this without her but Ron, Theo and Blaise came back and interrupted any words I was about to say. I turned to Ron just before I left. _Tell Ginny. She would want to be here with Hermione._ I said. I nodded to them all then turned and walked back to the Apparition point and joined the search for Pucey.

We caught him. He was at his home, hiding in a concealed cellar. After we turned his place over, we found parchment after parchment, message after message between him and Tracey Davis. Discussing, organising and laughing about killing Millicent Warrington.

When we showed him the CCTV he caved. He tried to pin everything on Tracey saying that she had been the mastermind of the whole plan because she was in love with Warrington.

We sent a few Aurors to trace her and within two hours found her at her parents holiday home in the south of Spain - feigning innocence. _I've been here for a week!_ She had venomously exclaimed. We found the Portkey and the papers to prove she had travelled there only three hours earlier. After that she wouldn't talk. She asked for a Lawyer and refused to speak to anyone until they were present.

It was six hours after I left that I arrived back at the hospital. When I turned the corner to where I left the group my eyes found Pansy asleep over three chairs on one side of the door to Draco's room. On the other side of the door were two more chairs, filled with the sleeping forms of my ex-girlfriend, and Blaise Zabini. Ginny's head had lolled to one side and was resting against Blaise's shoulder.

I stood there for a few seconds, watching Ginny. Her hair was scrunched up on the top of her head and she had on her sports leggings and a hoodie. I looked at Blaise, at his tailored trousers and polo shirt and to his hand, which was placed on top of Ginny's. It didn't hurt. Not one bit.

I turned to Pansy, and crept over to her. Some of her hair had fallen over her face. As I bent down, I couldn't help myself as I brushed it away behind her ear. I whispered her name and she opened her eyes, seemingly surprised to see me there. She sat herself up. _Where is Hermione?_ I asked and she nodded towards Draco's room as she rubbed her eyes.

I made my way to the door and slowly pushed it open. Draco was asleep, lying in the bed, a big black bruise across the left side of his forehead and his left leg raised slightly, bandaged up. His chest was bare, apart from a partially healing gash striped down the side of his ribs. He had made it - thank Merlin.

My eyes fell to Hermione next. She was in a chair pulled up to the side of his bed, her head resting on the covers and her hand covering his, fast asleep.

Pansy pulled up at my side. I turned to her and she gave me a small smile. We turned back to the both of them and watched them sleep for a few minutes. They were both alive and Hermione had gotten what she had wanted. To be with him. It made my heart swell.

 _Did you know?_ I said in a whisper, nodding towards the pair of them.

 _You didn't?_ She said, looking at me and rolling her eyes. _You are so oblivious sometimes._ She joked.

It was true. I was. I had always lived a very Harry-centric life. Everything always seemed to revolve around me and isn't it awful to admit that I never took the time to take a step back, to notice the changes in my best friends, or my girlfriend, or my growing feelings for someone else. All these years. Oblivious.

 _I don't want to be friends._ I said to Pansy, into the depths of the silent room. _I want more._ I glanced over at her. She was staring at Hermione and Draco. At their hands. _I know... you're dating Dean now and this is out of line on so many levels but I just need you to know._

I glanced at her again. _I need you to know - the kiss meant something to me, regardless of what it may have meant to you._

She didn't move. It was as if I had made her so uncomfortable she would rather stay still than acknowledge anything I had said. I wished she would look at me, just so I could study her face for any sign she cared about what I was saying but she carried on looking over at the two sleeping figures.

I shook my head. _I'm not sorry_. _For any of it._ I said before I turned towards the door.

 _Harry._..

She said quietly as my hand gripped the handle of the door. I turned round and she was looking right at me. Her dark eyes shimmering from the bright static lights on the ceiling. She unfolded her arms from across her chest and glanced back one more time to Hermione and Draco.

 _I'm not dating Dean._

* * *

 **Draco Malfoy**

 **March 10th**

I woke up yesterday, feeling like I had been hit by a bus. I tried to open my eyes but my eyelids felt so heavy. I tried to move my arms but they felt like lead.

I heard her voice, soothing me, telling me to lie back down and relax.

I woke again a few hours later. Hermione in a chair by the side of my bed. Watching me.

 _Hi._ She said, smiling. _How are you feeling?_ She brushed the hair out of my eyes. Her fingers felt like cool silk against my head. I grabbed her wrist and placed her hand back to my forhead. _That feels goo_ _d._ My voice croaked. _I can do a cooling charm for you.._ She began but I shut her down quickly. _No._ I said shutting my eyes and resting my head back on the pillow.

I felt her perch herself on the edge of my bed and I rested my hand on her leg. She swapped her hands on my forhead occasionally and it was one of the best feelings I had ever felt. Maybe it was the drugs they had given me. I could have been tripping.

 _What happened?_ I croaked again after some time, opening my eyes, feeling a little better.

 _Adrian Pucey attacked us. We have both him and Tracey Davis in custody. We have evidence, notes, parchment detailing the plans and the murder of Millicent._

I nodded along with her words but I don't think I was really listening. She had a few scratches down the left side of her face. _What?_ She said. I lifted my hand and stroked the side of her face, feeling the scratches with the tips of my fingers. _Are you okay?_ I asked. She placed her hand on mine and took it from her face back onto my chest. _I'm fine._ She said, smiling but I could tell she wasn't okay. _What's the matter?_ I said taking a hold of her hand in case she tried to run away.

That's when she burst out crying. Big, ugly tears rolling down her face, lip wobbling and chin dimpled and I couldn't help but stifle a chuckle. One, because she would probably hit me and two, because it hurt too much to move let alone laugh. She fell into me then, her head falling onto my chest and she just cried, loud wailing sobs. I placed my hand on her head and stroked her hair, just waiting for her to calm down.

 _I thought you were dead._ She muffled into my hospital bed sheets after she had calmed down. _I'm not though am I?_ She lifted her head and wiped her face with her hands. She shook her head. _So no crying._ I said and she nodded and sniffed loudly. My hand was still on hers and I stroked my thumb over the back of her hand.

It was quiet after that. Silent and comfortable and I must have fallen asleep again because when I woke up a few hours later she wasn't there. There was however a cup of coffee on the bedside table next to me, charmed to keep warm. Two sugars, milky. Just the way I like it.

They let me go this morning. I was signing a few forms when she walked through the ward doors, carrying two cups of coffee. She stopped when she saw me and gave me a small smile. As she walked towards me, Blaise and Theo walked out of my room carrying my things.

 _Hey._ Hermione said to the both of them. Blaise said _Hello_ back and Theo nodded to her. She asked if they were letting me go and I told her that they were and that we were just about to go back to mine. _Oh - Well I'll leave you guys to it._ She said to Blaise and Theo. _No._ Theo said hurriedly. _I mean, we're not staying long._ He waggled his finger between himself and Blaise. _We're dropping his bags off then we have stuff to do._ He elbowed Blaise in the ribs. _Yeah._ Blaise began. _Yeah... business and_ _ _everything... so it would be good if you could stay and help him.__

 _ _I'm not an invalid.__ I said. __Says the man in the wheelchair...__ Hermione said with a laugh, grabbing the handles of my chair and pushing me forward towards the Portkey office.

Blaise and Theo helped me struggle with the stairs and get me into bed before they left to do their _important business_. It was bullshit. They were supposed to be staying with me for a few days to help me get around but obviously they had a bigger plan in mind. Not that I minded. She left so suddenly yesterday and I was so tired and drugged up. Now I was a lot clearer and I was silently thankful to the both of them for leaving us.

 _So, do you need anything?_ She said, taking a seat in the chair in the corner of my room.

 _No._ I said shaking my head. _Well, I'll leave you to it then._ She said.

 _I thought you were going to stay_? I said as she stood up and walked towards my door. _Well you can always call me if you need something and I'll come right over._ She said not looking at me. _Do you have things to do?_ I asked her. _Well no..._

 _Then just stay._

 _I suppose I could make some food for dinner for you - then I'll head off._

 _No. I mean, just stay with me._

She looked at me and crossed her arms over her chest, nodding. _Okay, i'll stay tonight if you need me to..._ I shook my head. She looked so confused. _How long do you need me to stay for?_ I rubbed my eyes with my fingers. _Does it matter?_ I mumbled. She was giving me a headache. Could she not see? Didn't she get it even now - after all these years. _Well I need to get some to look after Crookshanks.._

 _Bring him here._

 _What?_

 _I don't want you to leave._

Realisation crept over her face.

 _I don't want you to ever leave._ I said, sitting myself up a little higher in my bed. She didn't move

 _ _ _Draco...___ There it was. That look. That look that I see. The same look I have on my face when I look at her. That look that tells me everything I need to know. That I am not wrong however much she tried to convince me of the opposite.

 _Just fucking stay with me will you?_ I yell it and her eyes bulge at me. _If you haven't already guessed it I think I'm in love with you and unless I'm still feeling the effects from the drugs, I think you feel the same way a _nd I am so fed up of being in limbo with you - every fucking day.__

 _So, just come here and lie down in this fucking bed with me and stay with me._

* * *

 **AN: I loved writing this chapter! I feel like I'm so attached to the characters and the pairings and I hope it comes across in the way it's been written!**

 **It's a long chapter this one! The longest in this series but it needed it to get to the next part of the story. Only part four to go now - so just two chapters left! How do you see it ending? Do you think it will end happily for them all?**

 **Thank you so much for the reviews so far. Please, please if you read, leave a review as I could really use them for this story!**

 **Elle x**


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